Page 29 of Kiss My Crown
I plop down on my bed, mentally and physically exhausted. A part of me is irritated that he’s even here. I mean, when someone doesn’t answer your phone call it’s not an invitation to come over.
“So what’s up?” I look over at him.
“I just wanted to see how you were after today. I know that a lot of people were talking.”
“Yeah, thanks for that, by the way.” I give him a sarcastic smile.
I know that I’m about to sabotage myself. I’m irritated, tired, and just don’t want to deal with any of this. As irrational as it is I’m mad at him, which is exactly why I didn’t answer the phone.
“What are you talking about?” He leans against the wall behind him.
“I’m talking about the fact that you outed us and made me the laughing stock of the park.” I sit up. “I appreciate the whole defending me thing, but if you haven’t noticed I can take care of myself.”
“Really? You’re pissed at me for telling that dick that he couldn’t talk to you the way that he was?” His eyes narrow and his body goes stiff.
“Yeah, because in doing that you completely tanked my reputation and everything that I have been working so hard on cleaning up.” I wave my hand in the air.
“How in the hell did I tank your reputation?”
Don’t do it.
I try to remind myself not to be a bitch, but I can already feel it coming out. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know that you guys are at the bottom of the totem pole. As soon as you announced that we were together I was screwed and now I’m getting shunned by everyone. I finally started fixing all of the shit that went wrong after Jeremy and I broke up and now that was all for nothing.”
“Wow, you are unbelievable.” He pushes off the wall and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll make it easy for you. No need for you to be embarrassed by us because we’re done.”
With that, he turns away from me and slams my door as he leaves.
Regret instantly fills my entire body.
I want to go after him and apologize. I didn’t want to hurt him. I know what I said was wrong and it wasn’t fair, but it’s why I didn’t want to talk to him tonight. I needed to get my head on straight and because I didn’t this happened.
My door opens and Melanie pops her head in. “I’m guessing things didn’t go great?”
“Nope, I screwed it up as usual.” I fall back down on the bed, praying that I’ll wake up tomorrow and get a do-over on this whole day.
I wake up in the morning thanking God that I am off work today. If I had to go to work I don’t know that I’d make it through the day in one piece.
My phone buzzes beside me and I see a text from Dani.
Dani: Grab some food at the store, the cupboards are bare.
Well, at least I have something I can do with my day instead of sitting around the house sulking. I stand up and start to get dressed, but I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I feel terrible about the way I acted last night. I had sent Justin a text saying I was sorry, but he didn’t reply. Not that I could blame him. I’d hate me too.
I head over to the grocery store and decide that today I’m going to try and distract myself. That all goes down the drain once I walk into the produce section. This is where I met him. Who would ever think that looking at vegetables could make you want to cry?
Screw it. I’ll buy canned crap today.
I guess a part of me didn’t realize how much I liked him until I screwed it up. I throw a bunch of stuff in my cart and decide to get out of here as quickly as I can. Today is a pajamas and ice cream day.
Once I get everything put away I plop on the couch and decide to have a sappy movie marathon. I never watch these dumb movies because let’s face it I’m not the touchy-feely kind of person. Today I know that these love-struck idiots are the only ones who can relate to me right now.
Grabbing my pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, I commit myself to eating the whole thing and not feeling guilty about it at all.
***
The girls come walking in just as I’m finishingThe Notebook. I’m sitting on the couch bawling my eyes out, still in my pink fuzzy pajamas.
Dani looks over at me and her eyes widen. “Mel, I think it’s worse than we thought. She’s officially hit rock bottom.”
