Page 16 of Kiss My Crown
With the wine buzz flowing through me I can’t come up with a good lie.
“Nothing. He doesn’t work.” I shrug.
“So he’s a bum?” Dani asks, and I nod my head. “Then how the hell did he take you to dinner the other night?”
“He, um, he sells drugs.” What. The. Fuck. That was what I came up with? Jesus Christ.
Their eyes grow wide. “Kate!” Mel screeches. “You can’t date a drug dealer! What if there’s a turf war?”
I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me, and I can’t stop.
“I knew you were fucking lying. Stop trying to create your own West Side Story, and just tell us already. What’s he do? What’s the secret?” Dani leans forward.
“Nothing, he just...I didn’t know until today…he’s a pirate!” I grab the pillow, hiding my face in shame. The room is dead quiet. When I peek out their faces are like deer in headlights before they collapse onto the floor, laughing hysterically.
After a legit five minutes, my slut friends finally stop laughing and climb back onto the couches.
“Okay, I have a question.” Dani raises her hand. “Did you surrender the booty?”
Cue the laughter again.
“This is why I didn’t tell you, bitches.” I cross my arms in annoyance.
“Oh, please, you had to know this was going to earn you some shit from us. You’re basically dating the bottom of the food chain. Wait till this gets around,” Melanie says.
“That’s just it. I’m not telling anyone and neither are you.” I glare at both of them. “Take a vow.”
Their eyebrows rise at me. Being fairy-tale characters, vows are like the highest form of a promise. It started out as a joke that whenever we promised anything we just started to say that we vowed to do it instead.
Now it’s serious.
I look between the two of them before they both reluctantly mumble their agreement.
“Hey, so I have a question and maybe you can ask Justin.” Melanie looks over at me.
Dani and I meet each other’s eyes. Whenever Melanie drinks she asks the craziest sex questions. She’s our good girl. I swear with as gorgeous as the girl is I don’t know how it’s even possible.
Her cheeks redden and I know that this one will be good. “So I always wondered if girls taste the same and if not what would make them taste different.”
“Ew!” Dani yells. “What guy would know the answer to that? I mean, that means he would have had to taste himself. Kate, if he can answer that shit he’s a creeper. Oh and he’d basically be a fucking cannibal because he’d be eating his own kids.”
“Oh. My. God. You’re disgusting, you idiot!” I throw a pillow at Dani. “She meant if girls tasted different than other girls, not if girls and guys tasted different! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Did you really call him a cannibal?!”
We all start to laugh as the realization sets in Dani’s face.
“Wow, I totally misunderstood that shit. Mel, I can definitely not answer that question. I can tell you, though, that it’s not like those damn books and your shit doesn’t taste like cotton candy and strawberries.”
We nod in agreement as we laugh.
By the time our bottles are empty my stomach hurts from laughing so hard.
It’s nights like this that make all the shitty days worth it.
Justin is picking me up tonight for our first date since I found out he was a…pirate.
I swear it’s almost like admitting your boyfriend is a serial killer.
“So, where is peg leg taking you?” Dani nudges me, and I shoot her a look.
