Page 21 of Kiss My Crown
The girls and I are driving home this weekend. We had requested it off because Melanie’s brother is getting married. We have always been so close that he was a big brother to all of us. It’s only about an hour drive, thank God, because they have not stopped the jabs about Justin’s little mishap.
“Can we please talk about something else?” I groan after twenty minutes of them.
“You know I’d say yes, but you turning his dick into a firecracker is about the most interesting thing I can think of,” Dani bursts out.
“Fine, but can we at least not talk about it in public this weekend? That’s the last thing I need with our crowd.” I shake my head, thinking about the good time everyone would have at my expense. Our parents are insane. No, really. You might think your family is out of their minds, but you haven’t met ours.
“I can’t make any promises, especially for Mel once she hits the open bar.” Dani smiles.
I glare at Melanie in my rearview mirror, and she already has an apologetic look on her face. Alcohol is like truth serum for her. Everything just starts spilling out like the girl doesn’t have a filter.
“I feel bad, guys. I basically maimed him twice in one night. I haven’t texted him or anything. I don’t even know what to say.”
“How about sorry I burned your dick and broke your nose?” Dani chimes in.
“Or, hope you’re okay. It could have been worse.” Mel laughs from the back. “How did you not know what you grabbed?”
“It was dark! I didn’t read the labels. Plus, he isn’t eighty, so I assumed that tube was lotion, not Bengay."
“You couldn’t tell by the smell?” Mel asks me, and I can tell she doesn’t believe me.
“No! I thought it was mint scented!” I yell. “I feel horrible. You don’t know what it looked like once they cut the silicone off. I swear it was like a flesh eating virus. Plus, they destroyed the toy, so I just flushed forty dollars down the drain.”
“I’m sure Justin cares about that while he has to wear that cast on his nose.” Dani laughs.
I pull up to our neighborhood and drop the girls off at their houses. We all live within a few blocks of each other. Once I pull up to my house and see all the cars I groan. I told my mom not to make a big deal about me coming home.
Grabbing my duffel, I walk up the steps and open the front door. The loud sounds of my family boom as soon as I step in.
“Kate!” My mom runs over and gives me a huge hug.
“Hey, Mom. What’s everyone doing here?” I put my bag on the floor as she pulls me to the living room.
“Well, you haven’t been home in a while, so I wanted to have a nice family dinner.”
I walk in to see at least twenty of my family members. So much for a relaxing trip. I say hi to everyone before plopping down onto the couch. There is a guy sitting next to me who looks like he’s only a few years older than me. He’s totally hot and since I haven’t met him before I’m going to guess he is one of my cousins’ boyfriends.
“Hey, I’m Kate.”
“Ah, the guest of honor. My name is Marshall and I’m here with—”
“Kate, honey!” I hear my grandma’s voice.
“Excuse me.” I stand up and give her a hug. If there is anyone I was actually looking forward to seeing it’s my grandma. She’s in her late sixties, but you’d never know it. She writes romance books and has as dirty of a mind as I do. Anytime we’re together I spend most of the time laughing.
“Honey, you don’t come home enough!” She lets go of me before looking at the man sitting on the couch. “I see you’ve met Marshall.”
“Yeah, he was just about to tell me which cousin snagged him up.” I laugh.
“Oh no, dear. He’s mine.” My grandma sits down and gives Marshall a kiss. Not just a kiss, I can actually see tongue.
I almost gag.
My mouth drops open. There is no way that she is dating someone who’s almost my age! This has got to be some weird creepy-ass joke.
“Really, Grandma?”
“Yes, dear. Just because I’m older doesn’t mean that my motor runs any different than yours.” She leans in close to me. “Let me tell you, younger men are experts at getting it up and running.”
