Page 35 of Havoc
Chapter Eighteen
Chrissy
“There's nothin' where we used to lie
Conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine, I'm torn” - Natalie Imbruglia
Tears stream down my cheeks as I drive around with nowhere to go. I can’t go back to my place because it’s only a matter of time before Rock figures out I was full of shit. My parents are blissful and on vacation right now. I couldn’t stay there after seeing him with her.
Opening the door, I almost want to run down the hall to see him. It feels like he’s been gone for weeks instead of days. I’ve missed him more than I thought was possible.
A few steps out of the room and I stop at the sound of the voices I hear. They aren’t loud enough that I can really hear what’s being said. I can recognize that it’s Rock, but I don’t think I know the girl. I can see them just around the corner. He’s leaning against the wall and she’s tracing her finger across his arm. He isn’t pushing her away or telling her off and a sharp pang hits me in the chest.
She takes another step toward him, their bodies are almost touching at this point. It’s clear from her body language that she wants him and the fact that he hasn’t pushed her away yet is all I need to see.
I turn, my heart cracking more with each step that I take.
As I throw my things in my bag as quick as possible, I almost kick my own ass when I feel myself start to cry. I cannot do this here. He can’t know anything is wrong. There’s no way he’ll let me walk away.
“Going somewhere?” he says leaning against the door frame.
Yea, I’m getting the fuck away from here. I need to think of a lie fast. “Yea, I need to go up to my mom’s for a few days.” I can’t look him in the eye because I know he’ll see everything I’m trying to bury. “She hasn’t been feeling well, so as much as I don’t feel like it, I need to be there. I’ll be far away from here so whatever you guys are dealing with shouldn’t be an issue.” Zipping up my bag I reach for the keys. Quick exit. Get out of here before he has time to think this through. “I’ll see you in a few days.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek not able to bring myself to kiss him on the lips and not break down.
He said he wouldn’t hurt me.
He said he loved me.
Lies.
All fucking lies.
I knew better than to let someone in. I knew I’d get screwed in the end. This is everything that I’ve been running from all these years. I let him blind me and I fell for his crap.
Now I’m driving around in my car, unable to go home. I can’t call my best friend because she’s with the enemy. I have no one I can talk to. Nowhere to go.
Passing a hotel I make the quick decision to pull in and grab a room.
I need time to think.
I need time to rebuild the wall he convinced me to take down.
I need time to forget how much I loved him.
Walking into the hotel I’m that girl, the one with mascara running down her face, cries coming out in sobs. The girl you feel bad for but at the same time feel embarrassed for. The concierge doesn’t even bother with small talk when I ask for a room. He just takes my ID and credit card before handing me them back with the key.
I make my way upstairs thankful that I’m in the elevator alone. Once I get to the room I collapse on the bed letting out a loud scream into the mattress.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
***
Bang. Bang. Bang.
A loud noise makes me jolt awake. I must have passed out mid hysterics. My face burns from running the tears away, pissed off that they were there at all. My head feels like a ton of bricks and my eyes are about double their normal size.
