Page 21 of Reckless
Chapter Ten
Carly
It’s been two days since we had the fight at the club and now I’m in the car with Jess on our way to a party at the clubhouse. Wrench didn’t want me going but since I technically had signed up to be one of the club girls I am required to attend.
I was so ready to drop this whole thing, say screw it, and never mess with the club again. Then I got a check this morning from them and as shallow as it sounds I could really use the money. Jess said that they usually get money from the club once a month and it's always a good amount. I guess that's why they are so strict with the rules they expect us to follow.
I had texted Wrench to see if he was going to come and pick me up, but he said it's against club policy to show up with anyone on your bike who isn't your old lady. "I really don't get what the big deal is about one of us becoming an old lady."
Jess looks over at me. "Because most of those girls aren't like us. They have nowhere else to go but the streets, so the club takes them in. They have big mouths and even bigger claws. The old ladies can't stand them, and the club feels like if a club girl could be an old lady, then they'd constantly be hounding the brothers about it. That's why when you agree to it there is an understanding that you can never become one.”
I nod, not really understanding because I haven’t really met the other girls much. The last party Jess brought me to Brick took me to Wrench almost as soon as I walked in. “What’s the party for anyway?”
“Not sure,” she shrugs. “I just got a call that there’d be some kind of announcement and they wanted all the girls there.”
We pull into the lot of the clubhouse, and I can see Wrench waiting outside. He had told me if I didn't see him, to wait in the car until he came out. I smile at him as I get out of the car.
Hearing all of the things he said to me the other day was hard, mainly because I didn't know if I could say it back. I felt everything he said, and it was like he was pulling the words out of my mind. I've just been so hurt in the past by love, only to look back and realize that it hadn't been love for a really long time. It's almost like I don't trust my emotions to know what the hell is going on. Plus if I say those words to him, if I tell him I love him, I give him the power. The power to hurt me, to break me, and to leave me utterly destroyed when he walks away like Tony did. The fact that he lives a life where I'll never be accepted is another huge thing. How can we have a future when he can't even leave me alone where he lives?
Wrench’s hands wrap around me, pulling me against his chest and it jars me from being lost in my own mind. “What’s on your mind, beautiful?”
I can’t hold back the smile that crosses my face. “Nothing, just a little nervous.”
"Don't worry. I got you." He starts to walk, leading me into the building. My heart starts to beat faster as all of the eyes in the room turn toward us. I look around and find Jess leaning against a wall talking to Brick, he looks back at me giving me a nod, and I feel Wrench tense beside me. "Not letting you out of my fucking sight tonight."
We walk over to the bar, and I see Izzy. I wave hi, and she starts to walk my way but the guy she pointed out the other day grabs her arms and whispers something in her ear. She follows him, and they stand next to Pres who yells at everyone to stop talking. "Listen up! Tonight we are going to fucking celebrate because my little sister here, and my brother," he nods at the man, "they're gonna be adding to the mess of kids we have running around here on a daily basis."
The whole room erupts in applause, and the old ladies rush over to Izzy hugging and congratulating her. I look at Wrench and know that he's thinking that could never be us. It isn't allowed to be. What was supposed to be a fun night now has a dark cloud hanging over it.
"Hey, girl."
I look up to see Izzy in front of me. “Hey! Congratulations!”
"Thanks, this so wasn't planned, but it's about time. I've been holding Lady off long enough at this point." She shrugs with a laugh. "So how is everything?" Her eyes shift over to where Wrench is standing.
"Um, it's going." I lean into her, so Wrench doesn't hear me. "I honestly have no idea what I'm doing or if I'm making a mistake. Maybe we can talk sometime since you've been in this life for so long?"
"Anytime, girl." She winks at me and then looks over at Wrench. Something passes between them although I really can't put my finger on it.
I look around, seeing guys that don't just have the same patch on their jackets that Wrench does, there are at least two others. A guy wearing one eyes me and starts walking toward Wrench. He shakes the stranger’s hand. "Hey brother, that's a nice piece you got next to you. Let me take her for a spin."
The man reaches for me, and I want to retreat, but my back is already pressed against the bar.
“Not now,” Wrench’s voice is smooth. “I haven’t had her yet tonight and I ain’t trying to double dip.”
My mouth drops open some. He didn't tell him no and to fuck off. He said not now. This is so not what I signed up for when I came here to meet him tonight. Nausea rolls through my body as I imagine the man who just told me he loved me handing me off to someone else for the night.
I look over at Izzy, and she is shooting daggers at Wrench right now.
I can’t stand here and do this.
I can’t be here if this is how it will always be.
I can’t be with him.
