He’s so hesitant that it hurts my heart, and I spread my hands across his chest to offer him some comfort.
“What’s hard for you?”
He gestures to me. “You. This. I’m…new to this.”
I can’t help but smile a little. “Don’t tell me you were a virgin.”
He barks out a laugh. “Nothing like that. It’s just… the way I feel about you, Isla…”
Oh, no.Please don’t.
If Cillian tells me he feels something for me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go.
I clutch at his shirt. “Kiss me.”
He startles, those pools of light green widening, but he leans down, brushing his lips against mine softly, sweetly.
I wrap my arms around his thick neck, leaning up to deepen the kiss.
A low growl escapes the back of his throat, and he puts his hands on my ass.
He keeps kissing me as he picks me up and takes me to the bed.
Ineedthis. Need to be with him one last time, because…
Tears spring to my eyes again, but I blink them away as Cillian puts me gently on the bed, not tossing me playfully like Dare does.
Cillian touches me like I’m something special, something precious, and my heart shatters further with each touch.
He kisses down my throat, between my breasts, before tugging off my dress impatiently.
I raise my hips and then my arms to help him, and he gives me a slow, half-smile. That smile that makes my heart skip.
I want him so badly it aches in my chest and in my belly, and when he dips down to my stomach, slipping his tongue into my belly button, I put my hand on the back of his head, and he looks up, confusion on his face.
“I don’t need it. Just want you inside me, Cill, right now, please.”
He hums, getting up on his knees to spread my thighs and look down at my pussy, hunger in the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips.
“All right,mo chuisle, but next time, I want to taste you.”
There won’t be a next time.
I swallow hard.
It hurts. It hurts in my throat and my chest, and I just want it to stop, and maybe if Cillian is inside me, it will.
I put my hands on his waistband, fumbling with the button, and he chuckles and puts his hands over mine. “Patience. We have time.”
Oh God, I wish we did.
But forever wouldn’t be long enough, and the clock is already ticking to when we’ll be apart.
I want to know them. I want to know what they were like as kids, want to know their favorite foods and what they believe. But there’s no possibility that can ever happen, for so many reasons.
I focus on Cillian, knowing that if I keep going down that road, I’ll start crying again.
Cillian pulls off his t-shirt with one hand and then unbuttons his jeans, shucking them down over his tight ass and freeing his erection.