I don’t want to leave, especially with Dare naked in my bed, but it’s the only way. He’s the only one who sleeps this hard, and I know he trusts me.
And that makes me feel even worse. Because I want to be worthy of his trust, and what I’m about to do will destroy him and will destroy his memory of me.
Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I grab the bag I packed and stashed while Cillian was making us dinner. I look around on the floor until I find Dare’s sweatpants, and I take out his keys and his wallet.
I take out the cash, around five hundred dollars, and stuff it in my bag along with the keys. I leave his phone, just seeing that it’s around nine in the morning. Time to get the hell out of here, just in case one of the others shows up.
I put on a pair of Cillian’s sweats and one of Liam’s t-shirts, putting on my shoes and grabbing Dare’s sunglasses from the living room. This way I’ll have something from each of them to remember them by. Something to pass on to my baby from her dads. Because to me, this baby belongs to all three of them.
My hand trembles as I hesitate before turning the knob.
I could still turn back. I could forget all about this, confess to Dare everything that’s been going on.
He’d probably even understand.
But Liam wouldn’t. I’m not sure about Cillian, honestly, but it doesn’t matter.
I still don’t know who the father is, and I honestly don’t care, and none of them are going to be happy aboutthat.
I gather myself, turning the knob and walking out into the sunlight.
It takes me far too long to figure out how to get Dare’s seat pulled up, but I’m grateful to see that the car is an automatic, at least. I can’t drive a stick.
Backing into the road, I hurry, knowing that as soon as Dare wakes up, he’ll track the car down. I only need it for a few minutes. I stop at the first gas station, buying myself a map, which is hard to find in today’s technological age and a bottle of water with Dare’s cash.
The cashier stares hard at me and tilts his head.
“Ma’am?”
“Huh?” I look up.
“Are you... okay?”
I frown, confused, but then wetness sticks on my collarbone, and I realize I’m still crying. I sniffle, wiping at my face and trying to smile at the cashier.
“Not really, but thanks for asking.” I take my purchases and rush back outside. I want to sit in the car and cry, but I don’t have time.
I’m running for the southern state border, knowing that Dare will track me as far as he can. I’m only going to be using cash from here on out, but I’m still a little worried.
Once I’m safe and sound and out of Dare’s reach, I’ll call Colleen, the woman who started all this, and try to explain everything, see if she’ll help me with money until I can figure out how to get to my bank and close my accounts.
For now, I make my way to the bus station and lock Dare’s keys in his car.
I still can’t stop crying, and the bus station attendant takes one look at me and hurriedly says, “Where to?”
“Anywhere. Anywhere but here.”
“You gotta give me a city, baby.” She’s an older Black woman, around sixty, and her dark eyes are kind.
I pick out a random city from the map, uncaring. I just have to get across the border, and then maybe I’ll be able to figure things out.
When she gives me the ticket, I head immediately to the bathroom and throw up, sitting on the closed toilet after and covering my mouth while choked sobs come from my throat as if ripped out of me.
I look at the delicate diamond watch that Dare bought me as a present and realize I’ve been crying in the bathroom for over half an hour.
After washing my face, I stare at myself in the mirror for a long time.
I’ve got to do this, right? It’s breaking my heart, but I have to. For the baby. For the guys.