Page 14 of Chains
I released him slowly, awareness of my surroundings returning in pieces.The entire club was roaring in laughter, even as the guys reached for their wallets.
“You set me up,” I said, the realization dawning.
“Had to.”Noose shrugged, straightening his cut.“You were driving everyone crazy with the brooding and the staring.Something had to give.We also wanted to feel Elvira out.See if she wanted you or if one of us could coax her into givin’ us a chance.”
“She didn’t know?”
“Hell no.”Noose waved my question off.“Had to keep it fair.If you didn’t know, she didn’t know.”
I turned to find Ellie standing a few feet away, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.I couldn’t read her expression, couldn’t tell if she was angry or amused or something else entirely.But as our eyes locked across the short distance, I knew one thing for certain.I hadn’t lied.She was mine.Had been since the moment she’d stood up to me about those damn cats.And now everyone knew it, including her.
The question was, what the hell was I going to do about it?
I didn’t wait for the rest of the club to start collecting their bets.With my heart still pounding in my ears, I crossed the remaining distance to Ellie and took her hand.Her fingers were cold against my palm, but she didn’t pull away.“Come with me,” I said, my voice rough even to my own ears.Without waiting for an answer, I led her through the crowd, ignoring the knowing looks and wolf whistles that followed us.I needed somewhere quiet, somewhere we could talk without an audience of grinning idiots watching our every move.
Ellie followed without resistance, though I felt her nails dig slightly into the leather of my jacket as she gripped my arm.Her touch burned through the material, straight to my skin.We wound through the hall to the other side of the warehouse where Knight had rigged up a theater room last month, claiming we needed a proper place to watch football games.
Knight himself was already there, unlocking the door with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Figured you might need some privacy,” he said, stepping aside to let us pass.“Lock’s on the inside.Sound system’s off.Talk it out.But for Christ’s sake, Chains.Don’t make your first time with her in here.Take her to a fuckin’ bed.”I might have punched the fucker if Ellie hadn’t giggled and buried her face in my chest, not the least bit upset.
With a long-suffering sigh, I nodded my thanks to Knight.As soon as we were inside, Knight pulled the door shut behind us, leaving us alone in the dimly lit room.
The space was a decent size, with a massive screen mounted on one wall and plush couches arranged in front of it.The overhead lights were off, but small wall sconces cast a soft, amber glow that made Ellie’s skin look like polished marble.She released my arm and stepped away, putting distance between us that felt like miles.
“Why did you do that?”She didn’t sound angry, but her voice had a cool quality to it there had never been before.Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her eyes wide and dark in the low light.
I ran a hand through my hair, struggling to find words that wouldn’t make me sound like an animal or a possessive asshole.“He was touching you.”
“So you decided to announce to everyone that I’m yours?”She crossed her arms, but I noticed she hadn’t backed farther away.If anything, she’d shifted slightly closer.“Last time I checked, I hadn’t agreed to that kind of arrangement.”
“I know.”I sighed, the adrenaline from earlier draining away, leaving me feeling raw and exposed.“I fucked up.I just… saw his hands on you and something snapped.”I scrubbed a hand over my face, then back through my hair again in agitation.
“You’ve been avoiding me for three days,” she pointed out.“After kissing me and then running away like I had the plague.”
“Wasn’t running from you,” I said quietly.The truth struggled to climb out of my throat, words I hadn’t spoken aloud in years fighting to be heard.“Was running from this.From feeling anything.”
Ellie’s expression softened slightly.She took a step toward me, close enough now that I could smell the subtle fragrance of her perfume.Something sweet and dark, like toasted caramel and midnight.
“What are you so afraid of?”she asked.
I took a deep breath, the air filling my lungs with her scent.My shoulders rose and fell heavily as I searched for the right words.
“After my niece died from leukemia,” I began, the words scraping my throat raw, “I didn’t want to be tied to anyone again.”Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t interrupt.“Long story, but the short of it is, her mother died in childbirth with her second child.Their first daughter, Larissa, died at age six.My brother killed himself the night after Larissa’s funeral.Our parents both died when we were in our late teens, and we never really connected with anyone at the foster home we kept in touch with.So once Larissa and my brother were gone, it was just me.”I scrubbed a hand over my face.“When they locked me up, it was almost a relief,” I continued.“Nothing to care about, no one to lose.”I swallowed hard.“Then I got out, found the club, found a family I wasn’t looking for.And now you showed up with your cats and your Halloween shit and your smile, and those eyes so full of fuckin’ compassion and sunshine, and I just…”
I trailed off, frustrated by my inability to articulate the storm inside me.Ellie took another step closer, close enough now that I could feel the heat radiating from her body.
“You just what?”she prompted softly.
“I can’t promise you forever,” I told her, my voice rough with emotion I usually kept buried.“I’m not built for that anymore.But I want to try because there’s never been a woman who’s affected me the way you have from the moment I first saw you.”
The confession hung between us, heavy and raw.I waited for her to step back, to recognize the broken mess she was dealing with and run for the hills.Not to mention the fact we’d just met and I basically told her I’d like to try to see if there was a forever inside me.For her.No.She didn’t tell me to fuck off.Not my little Ellie.Instead, she moved closer, her hand coming up to rest lightly against my chest, right over my thundering heart.
“I’m not asking for forever,” she said.“I’m just asking for now.For you to stop running every time you feel something.You need to live in the moment.Don’t live your life in the background because you’re afraid to lose something precious.Learn to protect it as best you can.Control the things you can.Prepare for the things you can’t as best you can.But the universe decides.You have to hold their memory tight in your heart.And know they wouldn’t want you to suffer because the universe decided someone needed them more than you did.”
If this had come from anyone else, I’d have laughed in their face.I’d have called them all kinds of crazy and delusional and motherfucker, but all I had to do was look into Ellie’s eyes and know she meant every Goddamned word she said.She truly saw life the way she described.
I stared at her, this woman who had somehow slipped past every barrier I’d ever built and in only the space of a few days.Her words somehow changed me.Stripped me bare.And she still had no idea about my past or why I’d gone to prison.I’d give her more than anyone other than Knuckles.Thing was, what terrified me most wasn’t that she might leave.It was that she might stay and become so important to me that losing her would destroy whatever was left of me.
