Page 19 of Chains
“I saw a news article about you, you know.The Halloween festival at the park.Your booth was mentioned specifically.‘Enchanting,’ they called it.I knew that was my little witch.”
My chest tightened.I hadn’t known about any article.Had he been keeping tabs on me all this time?“Dad, why are you calling me?”
“Now that I’m out, I’d like to have a relationship with you.You’re my daughter.”
“You destroyed our family.”My voice shook with emotion.Anger.Sadness.Grief.Everything was so heavy it was overwhelming.
“I did what I had to do to provide for you.”
“You could have more than provided for me as a surgeon, Dad.You didn’t need to” -- I swallowed, unable to even voice his crimes --”do what you did.”
“At least you had my mother and father.They took care of you when I couldn’t.”
“If you kept tabs on me like you said, you know that Grandpa died two years after you went to prison.Grandma died when I was fourteen.After that, I spent the next two years in foster care.When I turned sixteen, I got emancipated because I hated where I lived and had held down a job and saved and saved until I had enough to get my own place.While wards of the state aren’t usually turned loose that early, no one kicked up any fuss when I showed them copies of my pay stubs and my bank account.All of it earned by me.Any money the state paid out to my foster families went to them.Not me.Did you know that?”
There was a long sigh on the other end.I wasn’t sure if he was remorseful or impatient.“Yes.I was aware.They tried to get me to relinquish my parental rights altogether, but I didn’t.I wanted to be there for you in whatever way I could.I knew I’d get out someday and you’d need me.”
“Well, I don’t need you.I’m totally good on my own.”
“Look, honey.The truth is I really need somewhere to stay just for a few days, until I get back on my feet.The halfway house is… well, it’s not conducive to proper rehabilitation.Too many temptations, too many people who don’t truly want to change.”
I resumed pacing, faster now.“I’m staying with friends right now.I don’t have my own place.”
“Friends?That’s wonderful.”His voice brightened with what sounded like genuine pleasure.“I’d love to meet them.Perhaps they wouldn’t mind one more temporary guest?Just until I can arrange something more permanent.For both of us, of course.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”The words came out before I could consider them fully.
A pause, heavier this time.“I see.”The disappointment in his tone was palpable.“After all I’ve been through, even my own daughter won’t help me?Fifteen years in federal prison, Elvira.Do you have any idea what that’s like?”
Guilt sliced through me like a blade.“That’s not fair.You made your own choices.”
“Fair?”His laugh was soft, sad.“Was it fair that I missed your high school graduation?Your college years?All those milestones fathers are supposed to be present for?I’ve paid my debt to society, Elvira.Can’t I at least have a chance to repair what was broken between us?”
My breath came quicker now, my chest tight with conflicting emotions.Part of me wanted to help him, to believe he’d changed.Another part screamed warnings, reminding me of the gruesome devastation he’d left in his wake.
“I understand your hesitation,” he continued, his voice gentle.“Trust takes time to rebuild.But family is family, Elvira.When everyone else abandons you, blood remains.I never stopped loving you, even when you stopped visiting, stopped writing.”
I closed my eyes, silent tears slipping down my cheeks.“You broke my heart,” I whispered.“You destroyed our family.It was always the two of us.When Grandma died and I went into the system, I had no one to bring me to see you.The foster parents who took me in all agreed to bring me, but when the time came they never would.”I paused to sniff and swipe at my eyes angrily.“All that’s on you.Every single bit of it.”
“And I’ve regretted it every day since,” he replied, sounding genuinely contrite.Of course he had regrets, and I was a hundred percent certain that those regrets revolved around the mistakes he made that got him caught.Not for what he’d done in the first place.“Which is why you should allow me the chance to make amends.I’m not asking for forgiveness, not yet.Just a place to stay while I get established.A few days, perhaps a week at most.”
I wiped at my cheeks again with trembling fingers.The garden that had felt so peaceful minutes ago now seemed to close in around me, the autumn colors blurring through my tears.
“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.“Anyway, it’s not just my decision.I’m a guest here myself.I can’t risk displeasing anyone here.”
“Then ask your friends,” he pressed.“Surely they’d understand the importance of family reconciliation.Unless…” his voice cooled slightly, “unless you’re ashamed of me.Is that it, Elvira?Are you too embarrassed to tell them who your father is?”
“That’s not it,” I protested, though part of me knew it was.The thought of explaining to Chains, to Knuckles and the others, who my father was and what he’d done made my stomach churn.
“Then what’s the problem?After all this time, all I’m asking for is a chance and a place to stay.As your father.Is that really too much?If they’re truly your friends, they’ll give you this.”
The crunch of leaves behind me made me turn.Chains stood there, a beer in one hand and a steaming mug of cider in the other.His face darkened as he looked at me.He set the drinks down on the bench and moved toward me.
“I’m sorry, Chains.”I looked up at Chains, pleading with him not to leave again.
“Elvira?Who are you talking to?”Obviously, my father heard me and was going to use the opportunity to make the request of a place to stay himself.“Are you still there?”Tate’s voice grew impatient.“I need an answer, Elvira.I have nowhere else to go.No one else to turn to.Will you help me, or have you truly turned your back on your family completely?”
More tears slipped down my face as I closed my eyes.Chains step closer, his solid presence a counterweight to the manipulation flowing through the phone.
