Page 70 of Wanna Play A Game?
It’s almost dark out now. There’s silence for a long time. I usually hate the silence, but right now, Cali’s presence keeps the demons at bay.
We walk for a bit, then Cali asks, “What were you like as a kid?”
The question surprises me. “A little shit,” I say.
“Wow, I’m so shocked,” Cali says sarcastically.
It sends a thrill through me and straight to my dick. She’s such a smartass. “What wereyoulike?”
Cali pauses. “I was told I was disrespectful.”
Despite myself, a laugh pops out. “Not you.”
She huffs. “Yeah, well, they beat it out of me, can’t you tell? I’m reformed.”
I recognize that deflecting humor. I do that. Someone fucked this woman up. I clench my jaw. We walk in silence again. The house is a few roads away into the sticks. I get lost in my thoughts.
“You like cats?” Cali asks. The question startles me.
“What?” I look at her.
“You know. Cats. Pussy. The animal.” She rolls her eyes.
God, when she rolls her eyes, it makes the blood run straight to my dick. “Yeah, I do like pussy. And cats.”
“Why?” she asks.
“What kind of question is that?” I glance at her. The sun is down completely, and her hair looks pale and ghostly in the twilight, the curls catching the faint light.
She says, “I have a cat, the one you saw. He’s an ass,” she scoffs. “But I love him. He’s been there for me.”
Love. I turn to fully look at her.
Cali pauses, looking uncomfortable. “What?”
“Nothing. Didn’t think you could love anything. With your prickly attitude and all.” I motion at her.
She turns away and keeps walking. “Don’t project. I doubt you’ve loved anything ever.”
I catch up with her. “That’s not true.”
“What have you loved?”
I swallow. My chest feels uncomfortable, and my muscles tighten.
I love the boys.
You loved me.
I clench my jaw. Even when we lost all our money to her habit, I did love my mother. Even when I went without food. Even when she was high off her ass. Even when her Johns came over.
Even when she pimped me out to them.
I was an idiot back then.
And you’re a fucking idiot now.
Cali’s hand brushes mine as she walks next to me, and it yanks me out of my memory with a startle. I clear my throat. She looks at me like she expects an answer.
