Page 86 of Wanna Play A Game?
She continues to stare at the TV. I pull her up and lay her next to me. She’s stiff for a second, then relaxes. I cuddle up next to her, and it just feels right. She smells like a mixture of Sawyer and her own natural scent.
And I feel at peace. It feels like having her here fills something that was missing.
And I don’t think I ever want to let her go.
Chapter 40
Miles
“Mom! Where’s my suit?” I sort through a stack of papers on the table. My prom date is supposed to be here any minute, but Mom hasn’t paid the rent. My date’s a cheerleader I’ve crushed on since Freshman year.
Fuck. Mom used to have the checkbook in here. Where is it? I grab another pile of papers from the table. She throws everything that doesn’t have a place here…which is everything.
“What?” Mom yells from upstairs.
“My suit!” Fuck, it’s not here either. A roach skitters across the pile, and rage fills me. I throw the papers to the floor. We can’t be late on this. We’ve already been warned about eviction once. I’m not even sure what I’ve put in the account is enough, considering Mom lets her current boyfriend run around with her card.
Footsteps come down the steps. I whirl. Mom’s smoking a cigarette, dark circles under her eyes. “Your suit was in your room last time I checked.”
I pinch my eyes closed. It’s not new. It’s probably been owned by three different people, but I’ve been saving for months. I didn’t think her boyfriend would steal it. There’s almost no value in it.
I clench my jaw. I’m going to be late. And we’re going to get kicked out. Again. There’s almost no landlord in town who hasn’t heard of or kicked us out of somewhere.
“Mom. Where’s the checkbook?”
She takes another drag. “It’s not on the table?”
“No, it’s not on the table!” I explode. “Why the hell do you not keep it somewhere special? This house is a mess, and I’m the only one who tries to help!”
She snarls, “Vinny helps!”
Rage coats my vision. “Vinny does not help!” I get in her face, leaning down to her level and yelling, “He steals your money, Mom! Steals your money and beats your ass, and what do you do? You thank him for it!”
Mom flinches back from me, even while she yells something back at me.
I instantly step back. My stomach sinks, and the world slows. This is the exact look she gave my dad.
The exact look I always swore I’d never put on another person’s face.
I back away. “Mom…I’m sorry.”
She just continues to yell.
“I…” my heart is racing. “I’ll find the checkbook. I’ll find it, and it’ll all be okay.”
I bump into the table.
I’m just like him. I’ll never be any different. I swore I’d never be him, but I’m just like him.
Chapter 41
Miles
Istartle awake, breathing hard. Loud sounds fill the room. A woman - Cali - lays in front of me. I snap back to reality.
Cali starts to sit up. “What’s going on?”
I sit up fully. It was just a dream. Just a dream. I didn’t realize that was going to be the last time I saw my mom alive. I’ve been having that dream more and more recently. It’s time to kill again. Every time I wipe an abusive fuck from the earth, the dreams go away again.
