Page 103 of Pretty Broken Wings
“Get off me.” The demand comes out harsher than I intended, but I can’t help it. I feel the panic creeping up in my bones.
I lost sight of the goal. The goal is to get my money and disappear somewhere safe. Somewhere alone. Somewhere no one can hurt me. Instead, I got caught up in playing a stupid game that’ll get me hurt.
So I get up and run.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
The second Raven runs, I want to chase her. And for once, instead of overthinking everything, I do.
I get up, running after Raven, praying there’s nothing out of place in my house.
I catch her right before she slams the door to the guest room.
“Get away.” She sounds scared.
“Raven, I?—“
“I said not right now. What the hell do you not understand about that?” The high pitch of her voice makes me want to fight the thing that scared her. Make her feel better.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
I hear Raven suck in a breath. Then another, and another, until her breathing has slowed. Finally, when she talks, it’s clinical and detached. “Thanks for your help, but I don’t need you anymore.”
“For my… help?”
“Yes, Gage. Now get out of the door before I shut it.”
The game. She’s talking about the game.
And yet, I know it was more than just the game. Or if it wasn’t, it could be more. I’ve seen glimpses of the strong, funny, sassy woman she works so hard to hide.
“Move, Gage.” Raven’s hands are on me, and she shoves me back.
I don’t want to get out of the doorway. I want to fight for her, for this, tooth and nail.
Then, Raven slams the door in my face.
Over the next few days, Raven is distant despite my best efforts at communication. She only appears to get food, go to the bank with me, and let Buddy out. Axel’s distant too, although he can go fuck himself. It’s a miracle I don’t kill him. I tell myself I won’t because I don’t want to go to prison. Who would be here for Raven?
I try to get Raven to talk to me, but she refuses. It’s like a door has closed, and the person I’m talking to isn’t Raven; it’s some disconnected robot.
While the clock ticks endlessly in the hallway and I re-wash the same dishes, I’m reminded of all the times I should have fought for something and didn’t. I never fought when Mom was being abused. Not really. I just said a few things here and there. I never fought for her.
I never fought to be more outgoing like Axel. I just slid into self-pity, wondering why people didn’t like me.
I never fought when Jess left. In fact, I let her. I never called her again. I didn’t even fight for my client who backed out. I just… took it.
Why the hell didn’t I fight?
I throw the bowl I’ve washed three times back into the sink. It clatters around, that goddamn crack still stained from Buddy’s food.
I’m done not getting what I want and having an angry pity party over it. Raven is what I want. She’s hurt, afraid, and so very complex, and it’s gonna take a hell of a lot of work, but I’m going to get her.
But I have to be smart about it. She can’t know how much I want her, or she’ll treat me the same way she does Axel.
She comes down later that day for the lunch I’ve cooked up. I made chili and cornbread with extra beans and all kinds of sugar in the bread. I want her to get as many calories in every bite as she can. It brings me a special kind of pleasure knowing she’s eating the food I’ve provided and that she’s no longer hungry.
After Raven has settled in and started eating, I mention offhand that Mom’s Halloween party is tomorrow. I tell her that she doesn’t have to go, but it would be nice to have her to help get me there.
