Page 115 of Pretty Broken Wings
My chest hurts. I don’t want him to feel bad for me. Never have. What the hell is feeling bad going to do? It won’t change the past.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” Gage’s voice is small. Like he’s a kid again.
A rush of heartbreak, anger, and fear rushes through me. I should walk away. I should just keep walking and not even respond. But I feel that self-hatred creeping in. The part I can never truly escape washes over me.
“Why, Gage?” I whirl on him. “Because I was seven? Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t mean anything? It doesn’t change who I am, Gage. I’m still me.” The words rush out of me in a boiling-hot spew of hatred.
“Axel, I–”
“Why don’t you not make this about you for five fucking minutes!” I can’t keep the word vomit down. It’s like years of pressure are breaking down a barrier, and I’m helpless to stop it. “You know you’d be a lot more bearable if you didn’t fucking try to be so goddamn perfect all the time.”
My hands are shaking, and I’m fully ready for his rebuttal. Let him fight me. I’ve been waiting years to fucking tell him off.
Only, it doesn’t come. He says nothing, and that just makes me angrier.
“You know what? Fuck off, Gage.”
I turn to leave and stalk away.
CHAPTER SIXTY
I don’t let Axel get far. I have absolutely no idea what to say or what to do in this situation. This is different from my job, where I can spout a law or argue a point. Axel would just fight me, and we’d be nowhere closer to where we need to be.
Where do we need to be? What the hell am I supposed to say? But I’ll be damned if I do nothing. I’ll be fuckingdamned.
I stalk after Axel, following him to his bedroom.
“What the fuck do you want?” Axel whirls on me, throwing his hands in the air. He’s angry, but behind all that anger, I hear the fear in his voice. The way it strains and is pitched higher than normal. He sounds lost.
“Here,” I say gruffly, holding out the glasses. I both don’t want to see for this conversation, and want him to feel less panicked.
Axel snatches them from me, breathing heavily.
I’m scared to say the wrong thing, so I open and close my mouth a few times. Nothing is right. Because the whole situation is wrong, and he doesn’t want pity.
So, I cross my arms. “So, the bat?”
There’s a moment of silence. Then, Axel lets out a hissed breath.
I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not, but I keep going. I remember seeing Rich on the floor, and now that I think about it, I realize that Raven did have the bat in her hands.
“It wasn’t just a prop,” I say, but it’s not a question.
“Was it ever?”
I picture Rich, the person I most want to kill, curled up on the floor after my tiny woman gave him what he deserved. And that image makes me let out a small burst of air.
“Fucking hell.” I run a hand through my hair.
We settle into silence for a minute until Axel says, “You like her.”
Instantly, I bristle. Why the hell does he care? But as soon as that reaction rushes through me, I stamp it down. So I like her. So what?
“I do.” As I say it, my cheeks flame. And instantly, I feel bad. Because I remember Axel likes her, too.
“Damn.” Axel chuckles, but his voice is tight. “When’s the wedding?”
“You’re an idiot.”
