Axel starts making kissing noises, but behind the teasing, there's a note of frantic energy.
“It’s okay. Pretty sure she’s mad at me, so…” I motion uselessly. “Not going anywhere.”
“Again? Damn, what’d you do?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Did you try to take her bat?”
I don’t answer.
“Whatever.” I hear Axel move, and it scares me. I don’t want him to stop talking to me. I want it to be like when we were kids again. Back when he was scheming to sell poems in school for pieces of gum.
“I… She just stopped talking to me.”
“Did you tell her she should date me since I have a bigger dick?” Axel’s voice is deadpan.
“What? No!” I sputter. “We’re twins; it’s the same–” I cut myself off. “No, everything was going fine, and I thought we were going to kiss, and then she pulled away, and I… let her.”
The room gets silent. It is awkward talking to my brother like this. We haven’t done this in… years. But it also feels familiar. Like coming home after a long, long fucking time. So, instead of running, I keep talking.
“I did nothing, Ax.” I swallow harshly. “I let her get away.”
Axel is silent for so long that I think he’s going to make fun of me.
Then I feel his hand clap my shoulder. “Okay, so you didn’t pressure her into a kiss. Congrats, you’re not a fucking dickwad.”
I snort.
“I’m being serious. You’re not a Max. Congrats.”
I stiffen. “Max?”
Axel lets out a breath.
“She hasn’t told me about Max,” I say.
“Me either.” Axel’s voice falls back into that emotionless tone. “But she doesn’t have to. You see how she gets. He either beat her ass or…” he trails off. We both know what he’s talking about. I desperately hope he does say it. Like saying it will make it a reality.
Not that it would make me view her any differently. But because it’s making me murderous. Both options. And I don’t recognize this feeling in me.
But maybe I do. It’s the feeling I’ve been having since the party.
“He’ll never touch her again,” Axel says, voice low. “And we’re not gonna ask her about it.”
I swallow. I want to ask her about it. I want to know every detail so I know how to protect her.
“We’re not gonna ask,” Axel says again, this time harsher.
I just nod.
“Good.” His tone softens. “Good. We won’t make her relive it unless she’s ready.”
I get it. I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.
Axel claps my shoulder. “You good?”
I choke, feeling stupid. Axel’s the one going through it, and I’m over here drowning. It’s then that I register the liquid slosh, and I realize he’s still holding the lemon juice.