He’s inviting me to his room. At night. For sleeping. And anything else.
So, I’m not reading into this. This was a date. My emotions tangle, but above all that, I feel a thrill of excitement.
“I, uh…”
The silence stretches on so long it gets uncomfortable, but I’m frozen. I’m not sure what I want to do. I think… I might want to go, but I’m also scared.
Gage stands up. “You got me, I lied. I just don’t want to carry you to your room after you pass out in here. Don’t want you drooling on my shoulder.” He fake shudders.
He’s joking, but I catch the tension around his eyes, and I hate it. I want that happiness back. But he’s inviting me to his room. After Max…
“I don’t uh… I can’t share a room with anyone.” As I say it, fear washes over me. I feel a hole get bigger in my chest, and it aches. That ache is mixed with a fucking insane desire for him to understand.
Instead of pressing, Gage just nods. But not before I see a flash of hurt on his face.
Fuck.Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Plus, I’m pretty sure your pillows hate me.” I try to smile. “Don’t think I could show my face there anymore.”
Gage laughs, breaking the tension. “You? I’m pretty sure they’ve filed a formal complaint against me. I’ve been sleeping with them at the end of my bed. Can’t look at them.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll be paying for their therapy for the rest of your life.” I laugh and follow Gage as he gets up. We both walk back to our rooms, and I tense, waiting for him to pressure me. Instead, Gage just tips his head at me. “You read pretty well today. I won’t be exacting any fines. I’m a lenient master.”
“You ass.” I shove at him, and he just smiles gently.
“Hey, Raven?”
I stop. I shouldn’t have turned him down. My whole body is riled up from where he touched me. He’s hot and kind, and why the hell did I turn him down?
“You have the prettiest voice I’ve ever heard.”
Then he disappears into his room and shuts the door.
CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
The next morning, neither of us says anything about last night. Even though it threw my world upside down. I need more of her. More… everything. Now that I’ve seen what makes her happy, I want to do it for the rest of forever.
Raven trusted me with a boundary last night, and my chest feels tight. I feel honored. I want her to know I’ll guard that boundary with my life. Even if it means I never get to share aroom with her. Which hurts like a bitch, but that hurt doesn’t even compare with the feeling of making Raven feel safe. Earning and keeping her trust will be my highest honor.
But at the same time, I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt her. But that doesn’t mean I won’t. I’m human, and I probably will at some point. Raven doesn’t need promises. She needs action.
So when she comes into the kitchen for breakfast, I motion at a bowl of yogurt and berries I’ve prepped for her. She moves to it, staying in the kitchen. We’ve taken to eating in here. I’m not sure what the smell is, and sometimes it’s worse, but it’s definitely bad in the dining room and living room. I cracked a window, but I heard Raven’s teeth clattering and immediately shut it. She hasn’t gained enough weight for that yet. I’m going to get a professional cleaner to come in, but in the meantime, we’ll eat in the kitchen.
“Sleep well?” I ask.
Raven makes an ‘mhmm’ sound, the spoon clinking in the bowl.
I swallow, nerves filling me.
I’m going to ask Raven on a date. Another date. A real date. And this time, I won’t chicken out, and I’ll actually call it what it is. And even as I think it, my mouth dries up.
Oh god. I can’t do this. My heart races like I’m about to get in a fight.
“Raven?”
“Hmmm?”
“Go out with me?” The words rush out of me, and I clear my throat. “I mean, will you? Tonight. On a date.”