Page 162 of Pretty Broken Wings
There’s a pregnant pause, and then suddenly, Axel reaches out and grabs me. He pulls me to him in a crushing hug, squeezing the breath out of me. “Fuck, Raven.”
Did I do something wrong? Oh my god, I did something wrong.
Then Gage is there, also wrapping us in his arms while Buddy shuffles around the three of us, prodding us with her nose and trying to get in the middle. It feels…complete. Whole. We stand there for a while, and then Axel’s deep voice says, “That’s not why you ran, is it?”
I wince, pulling away. Of course, he can see right through me, and he can’t even see. I’m officially the world’s most transparent person. My cheeks burn.
“I, uh…”
“I have something to show you.” Axel steps back. I can’t even look at him. If he’s giving me an out and not forcing me to answer the question, I’ll take it.
“Do you have your keys?” he asks as he steps out the front door.
“Yeah.” We’re leaving? But my face is on fire, and walking outside helps cool it.
Outside, Axel waits for me to catch up, then his hand is around my elbow. He pulls me to him, muttering in a low voice, “Get in the car, Raven.”
“Where are we going?”
“You don’t want to watch me embarrass myself?” He’s so close we barely have an inch between us. I glance back to seeGage in the doorway. Buddy stands there, tail wagging and mouth breathing.
“Where?” I ask again.
“Car, little bird. You want to ruin the surprise?”
Axel starts herding me back towards the car, and I let him. When I drop into the driver’s seat, Axel rushes around the front of the car like he’s afraid I’ll bolt. Then he gets in. “Seatbelt.”
I huff, pulling it over my body.
Axel nods and then directs me to put the car in reverse. I do, then he gives me directions through town. It’s not lost on me that the last time he did this, he tricked me into coming to Gage’s house. The longer we go, the more tense I get. We pass familiar spots until, finally, we pull up in front of my studio apartment. Then, Axel slows the car and parks.
Is he… leaving me? Dropping me back off? Kicking me out? Pain and betrayal cut through my chest. “What…”
Axel shifts in his seat. “I had a whole thing planned.” He thrums his finger against the center console. “It was embarrassing. A Gage thing.”
He’s so uncomfortable, it makes me curious. I watch the tense lines of his body, and his jaw clenches.
“Don’t run, Raven.” Axel’s voice catches. “You’ll break his heart.”
My chest physically aches. So he’s not going to let me get out of this conversation.
Axel clears his throat. “Don’t make fun of me. I’m going to do this my way.” He sucks in a deep breath. “I’m finding myself again in you. I don’t know how the fuck you do it, but you’re everything I’ll never be. You’re kind and smart and fucking brave. I need you to teach me to be fucking brave.” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat. “We bought this place for you to make it into a bookstore or whatever else you want. Gage knows. If you leave, he’ll never recover.”
His words hit me in a wave. A multitude of emotions wash over me all at once. I don’t know which one to address. The biggest one I feel is… relief. Axeldoescare. As much as he tries to pretend he doesn’t, he does care. And he’ll say it even when he knows I’m leaving.
The thought makes me want to cry. Relief of my own fills me. If they really want me to stay, maybe I don’t have to leave.
I open my mouth, and Axel looks scared. Honest-to-god fear lines his whole body.
I smile softly. I just ask, “What was the other way?”
“What?” Axel looks my way, the whites of his eyes still visible.
“Gage’s way?”
Axel snorts, his face getting pink. “A poem.”
I try to picture Axel reading a poem, getting stiff with all the emotions, and a chuckle escapes me.
