Page 42 of Pretty Broken Wings
It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough.
It’s fine. I’ll just live out of my car. Right? It can’t be any colder than it is in here.
I glance at the letter. What did he say? Is he angry? I left him in the middle of the night. Just took what few things I had and left without a word.
Whatever it is, it’s just a letter. The letter can’t hurt me.
Right?
I look at it.
Celeste,
My girl, my beautiful woman. I don’t know where to start. I miss you every day. It took me so long to find you. I’m sorry for what happened, but you have to know I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you. Why didn’t you call? Write? At least explain? I feel we have so much to fight for. I love you. You’re my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me.
I’m at a loss for words.
Please, Celeste. I fucking miss you. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to get you back.
You can’t hide from me.
Max
At the bottom, he scribbled his phone number.
I stare at the letter, a horrible mix of emotions rolling through me at once. Then, a snort breaks through.
Max never loved me. That’s not what love looks like.
Then, pain follows quickly after. IwishMax loved me. IwishI knew what love looks like. All the pain I’ve been holding in rushes through me, and I choke back a sob. I’m so goddamn tired of being angry. So goddamn tired of hurting.
Will I ever feel what real love is like?
There’s a knock at my back door, and I startle.
Is it Max? Fuck. Fear rushes through me, and I grab my baseball bat. There’s no peephole, so I can’t see who’s there. I crack the door just a smidge.
Axel stands there. “Oh hey, little bird!” He takes one look at my face, then sobers. “Raven. You okay?”
Horror rushes through me slowly. It’s Axel. The man who taunted me earlier. The man who’s seeing my red eyes. Oh my god. He caught me crying.
I try to slam the door, but Axel steps in, looking around. “Are you okay?” He looks angry, searching the apartment.
I jerk back. “I’m fine.” I school my face and clear my throat. “I’m fine. Get out.”
Axel looks around again. “Why are you crying?”
Fuck, of course he noticed.
“I’m not!” I raise the bat. “Now get out!”
Axel eyes me for a calculating second. Then, he shuts the door, cutting off the cold wind. “Not until I know you’re safe.” His features smooth over, and he rubs his arms. “Kinda cold in here.”
“Axel.” My body starts to shake, and I can’t do anything about it. “Get out.” Axel isn’t listening to me. He isn’t listening, just like Max didn’t listen. I raise the bat.
Axel raises his hands. “Don’t hit me; it’ll get me off. And your landlord asked me to take a look at your heat.”
No way in hell. I don’t lower the bat. I’m so fucking over being treated like a doormat. I’m getting in my car, and I’m leaving. To where, I don’t know, but I’m going.
