Page 21 of Arranged Control
“You delivered your message.” She glances at her phone. “But I really do have a call.”
“Fine, I get it.” I move toward her. “You sure you’re good with this wedding stuff?”
“Not at all, but it’ll be fine.” She stands defiantly, chin tilted up, trying to make herself look bigger. Except she’s about five-foot-nothing and a hundred pounds with rocks in her pockets.
“You’re really telling me you never dreamed of a big wedding?”
She hesitates, and I know she did. The girl’s a bratva princess. Ofcourseshe’s always wanted the big ballroom with five hundred guests all there to swoon over her and treat her like royalty.
“Doesn’t matter what I dreamed of,” she says finally, shrugging and keeping her face composed. “I’m doing my duty to the family. That’s all that matters.”
“And does your duty fulfill you? Make you smile and have nice dreams at night?”
“Keeps me alive.”
“That’s not saying much.”
“Are you really worried about what I want?” Her jaw tightens. We’re not far apart now, and she still won’t step aside. I like that about her. I revise my reading of her, just a little bit. Maybe she’snot my type, but maybe my type’s not all that clearly defined anyway.
“You’re my wife. I want you to be happy.”
“I doubt that. I think you just want to use this against me somehow.”
I put a hand to my heart. “You hurt me. You think I’m that much of a monster?”
“Yes. I really do.”
God, I want to kiss that fucking mouth. I want to make that stiff spine break as she shatters for me. This girl’s a walking calendar appointment with a brain filled by sticky notes, and someone needs to get in here and mess this place up a little bit. She needs some real chaos in her life.
But I think of Fergus’s girlfriend then. The lack of light in her eyes. It’s the total opposite of Alina’s fire, and my guts twist suddenly. I hated that look. I despise the way losing Fergus didn’t just hurt her, but also hurt their child.
Now I’m expected to put myself in that same position with this girl.
No, I’ll do what I’ve always done. Bend but never break.
“Good luck on your call, princess,” I say quietly, brushing past her. I let my fingers trail along her hip. She shivers as I walk away. “And don’t forget to get in touch with my mother if you think of anything wedding related.”
She doesn’t have a plucky comeback. I glance over my shoulder as I leave and find her staring after me, her expression angry, buther eyes hungry, and I wonder what I’m getting myself into with this girl.
Chapter 7
Alina
Iswear, every time I talk to my future husband, my mood gets a little bit worse.
I drown myself in work for the next couple days. I refuse to think about the wedding and how much I’m dreading it. Not just because I’m marrying an asshole, but also because it’s everything I don’t want. Small, quiet, family only.
Seamus was right. I wantbig. I want loud, over the top, intricately planned, rehearsed down to the second. I’ve been dreaming of my special day since I was a little girl. Papa always made it clear:soon you will marry, Alina, and you will make the family proud. It’s always been in my blood, this wedding.
Now it’s happening, and I hate it.
I know that’s selfish and stupid, which is why I’m not making a big deal out of this. I’m not going to call his mother and I definitely won’t complain. That’s not what a proper bratva woman does.
Privately though, in my heart, I’ll mourn for the dream I’ve lost.
There are other reasons to be pissed. Like how I’m still heartbroken over Alex, when I really shouldn’t even care. The bastard was a junkie and a cheater. I should be livid.
Instead, it’s like I lost another piece of myself.
