Page 95 of Arranged Control
I stride into the store and the door closes behind me.
It’s really dark. I wait for my eyes to adjust. In the gloom, empty shelving units cohere, most of them lurking at the back of the building where it’s darkest.
Each step is like an atom bomb. I can’t see very well. “This was a bad idea,” I mutter to myself, looking around. There’s no way anyone’s staying here. I don’t know why I thought I’d find anyone. “Very stupid.”
I pass through a spiderweb and let out an aborted shriek. I flail my hands in the air, batting the stuff away. My heart goes crazy and I’m dizzy for half a second. I have to breathe hard to get myself under control.
Since when did I jump at stupid bugs?
“You’re right. It was rather stupid to come here.”
The voice echoes from the far end of the room, back toward the shelves. I stare, going completely still. The darkness is hard to pierce, but I can make out a shape, just barely, leaning back against the wall.
She’s impossible to make out. Just a vague shape in the gloom.
But her voice…
“Are you Molchanie?” I call out, not getting any closer.
“Who else would be in this place?” The shape gestures at me. “I didn’t think you’d ever show up, Alina.”
Something tugs at the back of my head. Something in the way she’s talking. I don’t know what it is and force myself to focus.
“I came to talk to you.”
“You liked my present?” I can hear the smile. It sends a chill straight into my bones. “He deserved it, you know. You have bad taste in men.”
“He was an asshole, but he didn’t deserve to die.”
“Ah, I see. You are softhearted. I wasn’t sure. Perhaps the head was too much?” She clucks her tongue. “Pity. What a pity.”
“What do you want from me? Why are you doing all of this?”
Molchanie’s shape moves. She comes closer, drifting toward the shelves. She stops there and I can just make out the edges of her. Long hair. Around my height, maybe a little shorter. Wearing all black. Her face remains a blur, nothing more than a nose and a vague shape.
“I learned a long time ago that people have trouble accepting what is best for them. You can go into a doctor’s office and tell the patients there,you will die without this medicine. But if the medicine tastes bad, what do they do? They turn it down and rot. Can you imagine that?”
I shake my head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Another example then. You go to a dentist. The dentist says,I must drill your tooth, but you are allergic to anesthesia. It will hurt, but you’ll have a tooth afterward.What would you do?”
“I’d find a different dentist.”
She laughs. It’s low and throaty. “Everyone says that. But none of them say,I’d let the dentist drill. Because what’s hard is sometimes what’s needed. Pain is not always bad, Alinochka.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“You know pain. You’ve been hurting. This man you married?—”
“He’s decent,” I say over her. I watch her shape tense, like she doesn’t enjoy being interrupted. “Seamus isn’t a bad man.”
“Your husband is like all husbands.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“He is one of them. A criminal. A killer. A thief. They are all alike. From the start, it’s smiles, flirting, maybe some fun. Sex is nice too, right? But that will change. It always changes.”
I shake my head. I want to get closer, but I’m too afraid. It’s taking all my strength to stay where I am. “You’re wrong. I want to be married to him. I want the chance to find out for myself where our relationship is going.”
