Page 34 of Dirty Little Secret, Baby
"Beth. Whatever she told you, it's not true. It's..."
"Right. All lies, huh? Just like this picture?" she asks, holding out a print that shows a topless Dilara snuggling up to me in front of my door. I wonder how many pictures were taken, becauseit captures the millisecond when I was about to take my hand down and push her away.
In the picture, however, it looks like I'm about to grab her and screw her, or God knows what else.
"It's not what it looks like," I say, knowing how ridiculous that must sound to Beth, who also seems to have tears in her eyes. I'm furious. At myself, at Jake and Dilara, and I wonder if I should just tell her that this whole circus is just because of her shop's prime location and a stupid rivalry between Jake and me.
But the tears in Beth's eyes tell me that wouldn't make it better. It might even make it worse, and I really don't want to hurt her. I kind of like her. In a weird way, since I don't really know what this thing between us even is.
Is it the thrill of not being able to have her whenever I want? Is it just about the shop after all? Or both? At the moment, it doesn't matter, because her expression tells me we're definitely not going to dinner today. She'd probably rather jump off a bell tower than sit at a table with me.
"That's the stupidest explanation I've ever heard. What does it look like to you, Alex? Did you kiss her, too? Did she go inside with you afterward and not run away like I did?" Beth asks, her voice shrill and audibly hurt.
"She doesn't work for me, she works for my competitor. For Jake. You know him, he's been here before. This was definitely a dirty trick to..." I stop myself. Shit. Should I just say it?
"To what, Alex? To piss me off?" Beth asks.
"That's exactly it."
"That's even dumber than your 'it's-not-what-it-looks-like'," she snaps, crossing her arms over her chest. Her cheeks are flushed, and if looks could kill... I'd love to take her in my arms and explain, but the picture is well-shot and... Ah, damn it all to hell!
"Listen, Beth. Let's go to dinner tonight. I'll explain everything. She just showed up at my door topless and had a photographer hidden somewhere. Nothing happened, I..."
"We are definitely not going to dinner, Alex. And save your explanations and just go now," Beth says, sniffling and pointing toward the door.
"Beth, really. Nothing happened. She just..."
"I don't want to hear it, Alex. Please, just go."
For a brief moment, I hesitate. But I don't want to start explaining everything all over again. She's too emotional, too upset. It's not going to work here and now. I have to give her some time and then try again, and hope that complete idiot Jake hasn't ruined everything.
"Fine. I'll go now. But I'll be back," I say quietly, turning and walking slowly toward the door.
"I hope not," Beth snaps.
I turn back, and for a long moment, neither of us says a word. The lines seem to be drawn. Then I hear a noise from somewhere, like someone screaming. A baby? Is that Veronica here again?
"I have to go now and... I have things to do. Now go," Beth says.
I nod to her as she disappears toward the stairs, and hope that I haven't lost her, and the shop, for good.
Chapter 13
Beth
Sighing, I sink onto the couch after putting Ben in his little bed and saying goodbye to Veronica. I'm glad the little guy is finally asleep. He's been pretty fussy ever since I came up from the shop after the encounter with Alex and a helpless Veronica handed me a screaming Ben.
He didn't want to eat, didn't want to sleep, and was difficult to soothe even in my arms. Just as I was on the verge of calling a doctor's hotline, it finally worked. He fell asleep right on my bare chest, as if he needed to smell his food source to know he was really with me. Guilt promptly set in. Maybe I really haven't been there for him enough lately, or maybe Ben has very fine-tuned antennas and can sense how agitated I am, and that's why he doesn't want to leave my side.
I had to say goodbye to Veronica shortly after, as her shift was about to start. I only told her what had happened in passing. She looked worried, but still had a few encouraging words ready, though of course, no solution. How could she? I didn't even know what to make of it all myself.
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
My smartphone vibrates on the table in front of me, pulling me back from my thoughts. I reach for the device and grab the remote at the same time, because tonight I want to watch some cheesy romance and push this whole thing out of my mind for a few hours.
But the message on my smartphone makes me clutch the remote in my other hand even tighter, because it's from Alex.
I know you don't want to talk. I want to explain it to you. She just exposed herself in front of my door and pressed herself against me and...
