Page 40 of Dirty Little Secret, Baby
"Waiter! Milk and chocolate," he calls out, raising his hand. The Indian man seems to know why, just nods, and hurries away.
"You'll be okay," Alex says quietly, patting my hand. It's somehow sweet how he's taking care of me, not leaving my side until the waiter returns with the milk and chocolate.
After half a glass of milk and a few bites of chocolate, it actually does get better. My mouth feels normal again.
"Thanks," I say quietly. "You can sit back down now, I think," I say to Alex, who is still sitting next to me with his hand on mine. It feels good and yet so wrong, because I'm carrying this secret around with me.
"Yeah, of course," he says, pulling his hand back, which somehow feels like a small loss. "You were about to say something?" he asks, and I feel that the courage to tell the truth has somehow evaporated. All because of a damned chili pepper.
"I wanted to tell you something, too. I wasn't quite finished at the shop this afternoon and..."
"One second," I say, interrupting him as my smartphone vibrates, worried that something might be wrong with Ben. And sure enough, there's a message from Veronica.
Ben was awake. He was really thirsty. He's sleeping again, but now there's no pumped milk left.
"Shit," escapes my lips, and I feel hot and cold at the same time. Something like this can't happen.
"Is everything okay?" Alex asks, concerned.
"Yeah, it's just... we should go now," I say, feeling my heart pound wildly against my chest. I know I should tell him. But not like this, not in a rush, and not when there's no more food for Ben at home.
"Do you maybe want to come back to my place and..." he begins, and I wonder how I'm supposed to explain that I don't really have time for that, but I can't think of a good reason, and I don't want to tell any more lies.
Then his smartphone vibrates. Apparently, he's also getting a message he doesn't like, because his brow furrows noticeably.
"Is everything okay?" I ask.
"Work problems at two stores that I need to take care of," he explains, putting his phone away and looking at me. "Mind if we skip dessert tonight?" he asks, placing his hand on mine.
"No, no problem. Veronica mentioned she could use my help anyway. There was... a mishap," I say, hating myself for being so vague.
"Sure, should I drop you off at her place?" he asks, putting two hundred-dollar bills on the table as we head outside.
"No, I'm going home first," I say. He nods, and we drive the five minutes back to my shop and apartment in silence.
"Beth. I... we should really..." he begins as he cuts the engine and looks at me. I can't help it; my face moves toward his as if by remote control. I know I shouldn't, but...
My smartphone vibrates again, and the attempted kiss goes no further.
Ben's awake. Can you come? Sorry.
"I have to go. We'll text, okay?" I get out without looking back, running away from the truth. Of course, there's a reason, a very good one.
Still, I don't know how this can go on with Alex. I can't keep wanting to kiss him and carrying this secret around with me.
When I turn around again, his car is gone. Did I make him angry?
Chapter 16
Alex
What a giant fucking mess!
This whole thing is jinxed. First that damn chili, and just when I was about to tell her about my business interest in her shop and the competition with Jake that came with it, her smartphone vibrated and she said she had to go.
Just like that. Her friend Veronica must think she can bother Beth every time something goes wrong with her baby. Okay, that was mean, since I have no idea what it’s like to raise a baby alone.
Beth is probably her only support, and yet—just as we were about to kiss, another message. Nothing is working out. Not even a kiss! And definitely not telling the truth. There's alwayssome shit getting in the way, like these two closed branches with pissed-off customers who want to eat their burgers and are now probably heading over to Jake’s Burger.
