Page 54 of Dirty Little Secret, Baby
Who else has bathrooms in their villa separated by gender that are bigger than those in some restaurants? Maybe his world is more foreign to me than I thought. I found those strange greeting rituals funny until a moment ago, but somehow, after that weird conversation, the fun has worn off.
The way he looked at me, so serious and intense, after he came back from dealing with that disgusting Jake. As if I'd committeda crime. And why would he think I'd have made a business arrangement with him? Sure, I didn't tell him that Jake showed up at my place again, wanting to offer me whatever it was. But why should I? There's a much bigger secret I was actually planning to share with him today.
But now I'm not so sure.
If Alex reacts like that just because that Jake is telling him an obvious fairy tale, how will he react when he finds out we have a child?
I dab my eyes dry and push away the feeling that spreads through me at the thought of having to come clean to him. Maybe it was a mistake to get involved with him. Maybe the many dinners and the kisses were a mistake, and it was most definitely a mistake to spend the night with him.
Not that I didn't like it. On the contrary. But I should have told him about our child first. I should have played with an open hand instead of building a web of lies that I can barely find my way out of now.
On the other hand, he did apologize right at the end, I think to myself, touching up my eyeliner. Maybe now is the right moment after all, because he's noticed how vulnerable I am and will be more patient during our conversation, listening to me until the end.
I really want to believe it. I take a deep breath, knowing that I need to start making my way back now to face the truth.
But instead, I take out my smartphone and dial Veronica's number. I know I'm just pushing the truth a little further away. And yet, I want to talk to her for a moment and, most of all, hear how Ben is doing. I look around again. All three stalls are unlocked, and I can't see any feet under the small gap at the bottom.
"Hey, Beth. Is everything okay?" Veronica asks, and I'm truly relieved to hear her voice.
"Hey, Veronica. I just wanted to check if everything's all right with Ben," I ask.
"Of course. He's sleeping. Don't worry. Everything's fine here. And you? Have you told him yet?"
"No, not yet. We just had a weird conversation. I'm in the bathroom, and I'm a little scared to tell him we have a child," the words just burst out of me. But it feels good to talk about it and put my fear into words. Maybe it will help me actually tackle the subject.
"Beth, sweetie! The longer you put it off, the worse it's going to be. I can't tell you how he'll react. But what I can say is that after what you two have going on now, he absolutely deserves the truth," she says, adding after a short pause, "Even though I do enjoy playing the single mom for you."
I have to laugh because I know what Veronica meant. "You're just amazing. Thanks, Vero. I'm going to go out there now andtell him about Ben. About how he has his eyes and will surely look just like him when he's older."
We end the call, and I feel noticeably better. I put my makeup back in my purse, check my appearance in the mirror one more time, and then I see a stall door to my left slowly opening.
Dilara is standing there with a broad grin, and my heart skips a beat as our eyes meet.
The phone call. She must have heard everything.
"That was really... interesting," she says, tapping on her smartphone.
"What are you doing here? How did you even... The door was unlocked and your feet weren't visible and..." I begin, feeling myself go hot and cold at the same time.
"Close the toilet lid and stand on it. Ever heard of it? Helpful when the host's assistant is looking for you and wants to throw you out," she says with a smirk.
"I expected a lot of things tonight. But overhearing a phone call like that... This is like Christmas coming early," Dilara says, unable to stop grinning.
"You have no right..." I begin angrily, pointing my index finger at her, but I don't know what to say.
"Your son's name is Ben, right? He's yours and Alex Rodgers's child? And he doesn't know about it?" she says, unfazed, glancing back and forth between me and her smartphone, where she's typing something.
"Who are you texting? What are you doing?" I ask, a terrible feeling creeping over me. I go to her, grab her, and in sheer desperation, knock the smartphone out of her hand.
"Dirty bitch," Dilara snaps angrily, picking up the phone.
This is my chance. I have to go, get out of here, and tell him. Right now. Before she or that Jake tells him and makes everything even worse. But I trip over my own feet and land on my butt.
"Serves you right," Dilara says, walking leisurely past me and placing her back against the door, which she promptly locks behind her. "You're not going anywhere for now," she says, holding her smartphone to her ear.
"Jake? Yeah, it's me. Did you get my message? Awesome, right?" Dilara says, never taking her eyes off me. I scramble up, go to her, and try to push her aside, but she doesn't budge.
"Yeah, I'll do it," she says simply and ends the call. Then she shoves me away with a powerful push, so hard that I almost land on my butt again.
