Page 68 of Dirty Little Secret, Baby
"Hello, beautiful," I hear a male voice that makes my blood run cold as I whirl around and, of course, don’t see Miss Shield standing there. It’s Chris. My ex.
Oh no, not him too. The day’s already been hard enough, and I’m in no shape for another confrontation.
"What do you want?" I ask brusquely, turning back to the arrangement, though I feel my fingers start to tremble again.
"Now, now. Is that any way to talk to a customer?" he asks, and from the sound of his voice I can tell he must be drunk. I turn and see him coming up to the counter. His movements are unsteady, his eyes and nose reddened. I know that look and remember how his hand "slipped" more than once, as he liked to say. I thought that chapter was over for good, but apparently I’m spared nothing. I feel an old, buried fear crawl up inside me,and I take a step back, but of course there’s nowhere to hide from him here in the shop.
"Is it true, what people are saying?" he asks, then slumps against the counter, which creaks under his weight. I can smell his breath from here. He’s not just tipsy. He’s plastered.
"Will you please leave? We have nothing to do with each other. I don’t know what people are saying about me, and I don’t care. I want one thing: for you to finally..." I begin, but then he slams his fist on the counter.
"That you’re a fucking whore and you’ve got a kid. Who knocked you up? Am I the father? Say it, go on, or I swear I’ll..." he roars, lifting his hand. I duck—probably an old reflex from back then—because the counter still separates us and he can’t reach me. Even so, I’m frozen, and I know what’s coming is unavoidable. I survived it back then, and I’ll survive it today. Fighting back only makes it worse, and Ben needs me and...
"Put your hand down and leave her alone," I hear another male voice behind Chris. I recognize it immediately, and if you can feel both relieved and angry about someone’s presence at the same time, then that’s exactly what I feel right now.
Alex is standing in the doorway. I don’t know how long or what he’s heard, but I know he won’t let Chris hit me. I never felt threatened by him, and I remember how he helped that elderly lady here in the shop back then. His demons are of a different kind.
"And you are?" Chris asks, clearly spoiling for a fight, pointing at Alex and slowly moving toward him.
"Beth and I know each other," Alex says. "And now please leave, like Beth said," he adds, pointing toward the door.
"Pfff...now please leave," he squeaks, mocking Alex in a high voice. "Not until I wring it out of this little bitch who the father of her kid is and..." Chris, seething with rage, turns on me and charges with his fist raised.
"I won’t say it again," I hear Alex, who grabs Chris’s fist and twists him around in a tight grip, making Chris cry out and glare at him, furious.
"What are you? Her piece? Did you screw her? Is that your kid?"
"Watch your mouth, you idiot, or I’ll—"
"DID YOU FUCK HER?" Chris bellows right in Alex’s face. Alex doesn’t answer for a beat.
"Ha! I knew it. My wife is screwing around. Just like that. Guess marriage doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, does it?"
"Chris, you know full well I’ve asked you about a hundred times to finally get the papers—" I cut in, and heat and cold wash over me as Alex looks at me in disbelief for a moment. Because it’s true. On paper, Chris and I are husband and wife. No one knows. Not even Veronica.
"I’ll tan your hide, as is my right as a husband, you little—"
"Get out," Alex shouts, stepping in front of Chris again and shoving him so he crashes to the floor by the door. "Get out and don’t come back. Or I’ll lose it. I swear to God I’ll break your nose, and that’ll just be the beginning if you so much as touch Beth," Alex yells, planting himself in front of me.
I almost feel a little flattered that he’s helping me. But why is he doing this? He wants to destroy me anyway, just in a different way. Maybe there is something to the idea that he didn’t know?
Chris scrambles to his feet and looks at Alex. For a moment I think he’s about to lunge at him and my shop will become the scene of an all-out brawl before I have to close it—because of the man who’s defending me.
It’s absurd. No one would believe me. I don’t even believe it myself.
But as if by a miracle, Chris seems to decide otherwise. "Lucky you. We’ll meet again. Wife," he says, points at me, and then leaves the shop.
"Wife?" Alex asks, turning to me. "You’re married to that..." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder.
I blush, because that part of my life is so unbelievably embarrassing. So embarrassing I’ve never told anyone. A stupidity that’s hard to beat and really only topped by what Alex and I went through. You could almost say I attract thingslike that, as if they were my purpose. One more reason to hate myself, especially since I don’t seem to learn anything from it.
"A silly Vegas trip and a complete blackout. Years ago. We didn’t even know until the marriage certificate arrived in the mail two weeks later. It was a shock. I wanted to undo it; I signed the papers, he refused. Then came our breakup over a year and a half ago, and since then he’s been dragging it out and..." I stop and look at him. "Wait, why am I telling you all this? What are you doing here?" I pause, then add, "Oh, and thank you... for your help. He’s really..."
"An asshole," Alex finishes my sentence. "Just like I was, Beth. I mean it—I can really understand how much..."
"You don’t have to apologize," I tell him, even though the way he says it and the way he looks at me feel like balm on my battered soul. Maybe everything was just one huge misunderstanding?
"Your child... it’s his, isn’t it?" he asks quietly, still looking a little shocked that I’m married. I can’t blame him.
