Page 7 of Falling for Ash
Did it justify the means?
That sort of thing was above his paygrade. Judgment was reserved for other ethereal beings. Not for Ash.
“It was the only way to save her,” Ash replied succinctly. Even if he had a hard time convincing himself that was the only reason he’d done what he had.
“Grazi’s mate understood why you did it, Ash. Good man, that Ronan Madden. Good Wolf too. I am sure the girl forgave you as well.”
“Indeed,” he replied.
It had hurt Ash. The entire thing with Grazi, Ronan, and the others. But it was not love.
Never love.
How could he ever be worthy to feel that of all the torturously human emotions?
No matter how much he wanted to.
Demons were not meant to feel the glory of love in all its purity. He was no Fallen Angel like Lucifer, and he was not a Shifter either. Loneliness was his only destiny. Ash, Asmodeus or Ashmedai as he was sometimes called, was a Demon. And he meant that in the foulest, most despicable use of the word.
He was born of Hell, cast into Purgatory, and had to fight and claw to claim his station there. A true Demon with the ability to pass among humans was coveted and rare. It was what elevated him among the others and helped make him a Prince among his kind.
“I know your time with Molloch has changed you, Ash,” Lucifer said, interrupting his train of thought. “You are not all transformed, Asmodeus. Some of you is still in there, I’d wager. That part that loved life so and lived with such vigor. I am certain with the right provocation, in this case I mean a female, you will find your appetites renewed. Speed dating, old man, that is your opportunity!”
“I’m afraid I have lost more of myself, Lucifer, than even you can see. I am destined to be alone now, as I ever was,” Ash whispered.
“No, my friend. That carefree spirit that made you such a successful Prince of Hell is still there. You are not to be alone forever. Not now that I’ve found my own happiness. I forbid it!”
“If anyone could banish loneliness, it would be you, my lord,” Ash said and grinned. “But I deserve it. I do. I’ve done terrible things. I don’t know how to come back from that. Not sure I want to.”
“Should I have you guarded? Watched? Do you need a doctor? Chloe says I need to be more mindful of others?—”
“No, my lord, I’m not suicidal. I fully intend to go on living here, in Purgatory, changed as it is.”
“My mate prefers things this way,” Lucifer said, looking out of the window from his office. “I admit, it is a might nicer. Don’t you think?”
“Perhaps,” Ash said, shrugging. He did not care one way or other.
The fire and brimstone bit was a tad overdone. The skyline was clearer now, changing from reds and yellows to blues and grays depending on time of day and season. Of course, there was always the odd flash of lightning, but that had more to do with the temperamental god, Zeus, than the actual weather.
Beneath the striking firmament of the Underworld, teaming with Angels, Demons, Gargoyles, and other various winged creatures and Shifters, there were modern, urbane developments. Houses, cafes, and shops lined the streets, most of the homes were quaint and village like. Lucifer’s castle still stood as befitting his stature.
Ash’s old residence had been demolished in his absence, but he owned a fine manor now. Appropriate for a Demon of his rank. It stood apart from the others, outside the center of things, which had always seemed too crowded for him. He enjoyed his privacy, if not his solitude.
Purgatory had truly become something incredible. A thriving community, not just a weigh station of sorts. The change the Underworld had gone through was really quite dramatic and all for the love of a mate. Unbelievable. Though, truth be told, Ash was envious of Lucifer. Of the joy he’d found with the coming of his soul mate.
“You know, change is not always bad, Ash.”
“That is true for some. But I have no place in this new world of yours, Lucifer. I came here today to ask you to send me away. Send me on a mission, somewhere far away, in the pits perhaps? I can’t do nothing. We both know I do not deserve to be here, in my castle, mingling with the lot of you. I am far too tainted now, Lucifer.”
Silence encompassed him as the Lord of the Underworld considered his request. It was bold to ask anything of Lucifer. He knew that, but Ash could not bear the loneliness anymore. Not when new couples were springing up everywhere he looked in Purgatory these days.
There was a time when Ash had believed in the Fates and looked forward to their matchmaking for himself, but his time in captivity and bound to the Demon Molloch had changed him.
That evil creature had made Ashmedai the messenger of his evil plots. Poisoning his brain and using Dark Magic to control another Demon was foul work, indeed. In the end, Ash had defied him at great cost to himself, but it had been worth it.
The teen Wolf he’d grown to care for had defeated the curse. Lucifer then caught the beast while Molloch was distracted by the Werewolf rebellion, and thereby freed Ash. The thin scar visible from his left armpit to his hip was all that remained of his plight. A tiny reminder of his cruel past.
And so, here he was now. Back home in the Underworld.
