Page 51 of Keeping the Single Dad
I put my arm around her shoulder. “That’s rough.”
She leaned into me, and I held her, stroking her hair back. Uneasiness crept into my bones. I’d taken the last pill in my packet a couple of days ago, and I still hadn’t bled. It wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes, it didn’t happen straight away. Still, a little voice nagged me. These things weren’t always a hundred percent. I’d had a friend who got pregnant on the pill because she’d had a cold and it hadn’t worked properly. I’d have to take a test. It was the only way to set my mind at ease.?
Despite the churning in my gut, I adjusted my smile, and gave Sophie a squeeze. “Can I get you anything? Painkillers? Emergency chocolate?”
She snorted. “I’m never going to turn down emergency chocolate.”??
Later that day, at the school, I put the girls through a set of new drills. I’d been excited about trying something different with them, but now my heart wasn’t in it. Alex’s gaze had burned into me all session. He checked in twice to ask if I was okay.?
I really wasn’t okay.
It was hardly a conversation we could have in a school hall full of chattering primary school children. At the end of the session, I led the children through a routine of cool down stretches on the mat, while Alex gathered the equipment together. The children filed out of the hall in a neat line.?
Alex held the door open and eased into a smile. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”?
I ducked under his arm and through the door.
He fell in step next to me, his formidable frame loomed more imposing than ever in the small school corridor. “Is everything okay?”?
“Why wouldn’t it be?” My voice came out sharper than I’d intended.?
Alex held the main entrance open for me, and we stepped out onto the playground. A warm breeze, carrying a faint odor of hot tarmac hit me. Snatches of laughter from the children playing in small groups around us raked through me.
“You’ve hardly said two words to me today.” He came close, looking down at me intensely and lowered his voice. “Are you upset about yesterday? I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to stay. I thought it might have been too much for Brodie…”
A pulse beat in my temple. “Everything’s fine.”
My mind drifted back to yesterday. I’d spent the day in bed with Alex, and left before Brodie got back from the water park. The afternoon with him had been like nothing I’d experienced before. Sex had always just been a physical release, but yesterday afternoon was something I couldn’t explain. For once, I hadn’t just wanted to ride him in a blind galloping passion. It had been tender and sweet. A connection. Something peaceful. I liked the rough, exciting sex we’d had before, but the slow tender soulful stuff was incredible, too. I hadn’t realized there was a possibility of both.?
We left the school through iron gates and walked the leafy suburban street back to Alex’s car. The low rumble of traffic from the main road filled my ears.?
Alex stilled me with a hand on my arm. “Something’s wrong. What is it?”?
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
He offered me a faint smile. “I was married for a long time. I know that when a woman says, ‘everything is fine’ in that tone, it’s anything but fine. If I’ve upset you, then you can tell me.” He looked around and lowered his voice. “Yesterday was so…” His mouth curved with tenderness. His concerned eyes glimmered with shades of amber and green. “I loved spending time with you. I thought we were making…progress.”?
Progress? Progress to where? A heavy ball ground in my chest.
He swallowed and stepped away. “It felt…right between us, that’s all.”? Alex’s smile faded a little. “For me, anyway.”
My guts churned. Would it still feel right when I landed this news on him? Alex was an amazing father to Brodie, but no man would be thrilled at the prospect of a baby with a woman they hardly knew, would they? I’d have to do this test as soon as I could. It was messing with my head. The heavy ball in my chest twisted. What if the test was positive? This wasn’t the right time in my life for a baby. Some women managed to balance motherhood with playing, but not many. It wasn't something I'd even considered. ?
I tried to paste on a smile but my lips trembled too much to hold the shape. The words I tried to dismiss Alex with all wedged in my throat. What if I was pregnant? What the hell would I do? If the test came back positive would I even tell Alex? Weariness engulfed me. I’d have to tell him. It wasn’t something I’d keep from him. Besides, this was his responsibility, too. Not just mine.
I wanted to press myself into his enormous arms and let his scent wrap around me like a warm blanket, but I had to hold firm. Alex might not react well.?
I gritted my teeth. “I’m late.”
He glanced at his watch. “I’ll make sure you get to training on time.”
“No. My period hasn’t come. It’s normally regular.”
Alex’s brow flickered as his steady gaze traveled over my face. “You said you were on the pill.”
Irritation rippled the length of my spine. Like this was my fault? “I am. These things aren’t always one hundred percent reliable.”
He raked a large hand over his face. “Have you done a test?”
