Page 68 of Keeping the Single Dad
In the rearview mirror I caught Mel’s sardonic eyebrow raise. “There you go. Problem solved. Just get another one.”
I couldn’t find it in me to laugh. Not until we found Lana. No matter what had gone on between us, I needed to know that she was okay.
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Chapter 42
Lana
Brightbuttercupsscatteredthegraveyard in constellations like fallen stars. Weeds covered the weathered stone of Mum’s grave. Guilt sat like a heavy lump in my chest.
“Lana?”
Mel’s voice made me jump. Taking a deep, unsteady breath, she stepped toward me. Her normally pristine hair was disheveled, and shadows haunted her eyes.
“What are you doing here?”
Mel clamped her mouth tight. “You’re not answering your phone. People are worried about you. How could you be so irresponsible?”
My spine stiffened. “Have you driven all this way to lecture me? That’s a fine effort.” My lips twisted in a smile full of irony. “I commend your commitment.”
“Why did you run?”
“Because I don’t do this part.”
“What part?”
I reached down and brushed Mum’s gravestone. The moss was spongy and forgiving under my fingertips. “The goodbye.”
A bitter wind whipped around us, and I pulled my cardigan tight.
Mel held perfectly still. “I’m sorry.”
“No. You’re not. You pushed me into this thing with the journalist. You asked me to choose between you and Alex.”
Her face was pale. “And you chose us. Your family.”
My chest ached. “I sacrificed Alex for this family, and why? You hate me. You talk to me like shit. Dad is so broken. I can’t get through to him, no matter how hard I try. I’ve thrown away two families that actually care about me: my team, and Alex and Brodie.”
“I don’t hate you.”
I snorted. “Right. I feel sorry for the people you do hate.”
Mel dropped down and pulled some dandelions from the grass around Mum’s grave. “Do you remember that thing Mum used to say whenever we were upset?” The strained tone of Mel’s voice held me transfixed. “She used to say, it’s always darkest before dawn. We never know what is around the corner.
“Sometimes, when you think something is the worst it could ever be, you have to hold your nerve. What is done is done, but it doesn’t have to be over with Alex. That man cares about you. As for football, you’re one of the most talented players in this country. You’ll find a place to play, and wherever you go, they will be lucky to have you.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I held them in check.
She rolled her shoulders and flashed me a sidelong glance. “You get through to Dad in a way I can’t. You put a smile on his face. That’s worth its weight in gold.” Mel swallowed. Her mouth was as pale as her cheeks. “You must forgive me, Lana, because I’m sorry. None of this is easy for me. I’ve let you down. I know I’m not…expressive, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel things. The truth is, I’m not good at goodbye, either.”
My heart ached. “I wish we could get through this together, not apart.”
She nodded woodenly and brushed her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I’d like that, too. I want things to be better between us. The way that they used to be.”
Mel’s palm hovered over my shoulder. She frowned and withdrew her hand. It wasn’t easy for her, but I wouldn’t let her go. I pulled her toward me and into my arms. She held rigid for a moment then relaxed. Her head rested against my shoulder and she spoke in a soft voice. “If a man says goodbye, then you’ll survive it. It’s worse not to try and put things right. Imagine if you could fix things and you didn’t even try. You can’t run like this. You have to stick around and face your fears.”
“I’m too scared.”
