Page 27 of Playing for Possession
She watched me; her voice was soft. “What have you lost?”
My faith in my body. My confidence. Everything that made me Joanie Fox.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “A lot.”
Her wizened smile wrapped me in warmth. “You are a survivor. A tough woman. I can tell. We women have to be.”
She gripped the arms of her wheelchair, and her frame radiated determination. “I am not staying in this chair. I want to see my grandkids again. Focus on what you will do when you are better.”
“I can’t get back on the pitch. I’m scared I’ll get hurt again.”
“Maybe. Maybe you will get on the pitch and play better than ever. No one knows.”
The past nine months had been hellish, but things were changing. I was almost there with the recovery. She was right. Maybe it could be OK. How could I possibly know? I was bored with the worry. Bored with myself. Maybe Skylar was right. It wasn’t such a bad thing to get out of my comfort zone. Things had to change one way or another.
“Can I get your autograph?”
I twisted in surprise. “Mine?”
She nodded. “My grandsons love futbol. I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear I met a professional.”
A sudden shyness came over me. With the injury, I hadn’t had much interaction with supporters this year. Ages since anyone had asked for an autograph.
“Sure.” I fumbled around in the pocket of my jacket. “I might have a pen in here.”
My fingers brushed a piece of paper, and I pulled out a neatly folded note. Lana’s scrawling handwriting filled the white sheet.Joanie’s fuck-it list.Heat erupted in my cheeks.Oh my gosh. Not appropriate.I shoved the paper back in my pocket.
“Here.” The older lady handed me her appointment card. “You can sign this.”
My fingers trembled a little as I signed the back of the card. Even though nobody had seen that list, just having it here in public where it could be discovered made me self-conscious.
The woman took the card and eyed me with a curious gaze. “Is everything OK?”
It had been until I’d found that stupid list. Now I had to think about the embarrassing conversation. I’d flat-out dismissed it at the time, but maybe it hadn’t been such a terrible idea until Lana got hold of it. Skylar thought it could be a way to get back to myself, and perhaps she wasn’t far off the mark. Not bungee jumping or skydiving, but there had to be some normal things that I’d enjoy.
“My friend thinks I should write a list.”
I clamped my mouth shut, surprised by my own admission. I’d already opened up more than I would normally with anyone. There was comfort in a kind stranger. A person who didn’t know my dad. She wouldn’t have any of the usual expectations that people had about Mortimer Fox’s daughter: that I was too spoiled, too entitled, too demanding,too much. There was no pressure to shrink myself or hide the way I felt. Anonymity was... liberating.
The woman raised a questioning eyebrow. “A list?”
“Like a bucket list, but not crazy things. Nothing too wild. I don’t want to go bungee jumping. Just nice things I’ve always wanted to do.”
The woman nodded her approval. “It sounds like a good idea.”
My gaze drifted to Kieran at the other side of the crowded waiting area. He sprawled casually on the floor, signing a cast on a little girl’s foot. He stood and pulled off his Calverdale T-shirt, revealing his glorious muscular back. Heat pooled in my stomach. He exchanged it for another man’s plain T-shirt.
There was no denying the obvious. Kieran was gorgeous. Seeing him in his element like this, moving around with casual grace and lighting the place up, only made it clearer. He was full-on swoon material.
“He is very handsome, no?” The woman raised a suggestive eyebrow. Her voice filled with humor. “Maybe he should be on your list.”
He was already number one on the list Lana had written. What was she thinking? I couldn’t help my embarrassed chuckle. We were so different. Even if he wasn’t the trouble-making bad boy I’d imagined, a man like Kieran Earnshaw wouldn’t be interested in me. He was a sporting legend and I was... percussion.
“Joanie Fox?” A woman in a white coat stood with a clipboard, surveying the waiting room.
I stood. “That’s me.” I gave my new friend a smile. “Thank you. I hope you have a wonderful time on your adventures.”
She smiled warmly. “You too.”
