Page 79 of Playing for Possession
I followed his gaze to Dad’s latest wife, Valerie, sitting in the front row. A tight black dress hugged her incredible lingerie-model physique, and a lace veil flowed from a pillbox hat on her perfect hair. She dabbed her face with a black lace handkerchief.
“As long as he doesn’t start beheading them, I reserve judgment,” I said.
“Valerie is really leaning into the grieving widow vibe. Those tears look real.”
I kept my voice deadpan. “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Ollie laughed. Rock music blasted from the speaker. I almost jumped out of my seat at Dad’s shrill, rasping vocal on “Love Me to Death.”
Ollie whispered in my ear, “He’s trying to plug his new material. That’s what this is all about. I saw some music journos outside. Any minute he’s going to rise out of that coffin like Dracula and start singing along.”
I snorted with laughter. “I need to talk to you after this. Somewhere private.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Sounds ominous. You can’t leave it like that. Give me a hint.”
I lowered my voice to a whisper. “It’s not ominous. Not really. I want to talk to you about Kieran Earnshaw.”
“What about him?” He scrutinized my face and his eyes widened. “Oh no. You didn’t!”
My cheeks heated. “He’s nice, Ollie. Underneath everything you see on the surface, he’s really so nice.”
He sighed and shifted in his seat. “Look, this is awkward, and I really didn’t want to tell you this, but someone has to. Dad let something slip the other day...”
A middle-aged woman in a smart navy suit stepped up to the podium. An expectant silence wrapped around us.
“Welcome to Mortimer Fox’s living funeral. Today we gather not in sorrow, but in joy, to celebrate the life of a great man. A multi-platinum-selling rock legend. A visionary artist. A dedicated father.”
Ollie’s breath was hot against my ear. “Dad bribed Kieran to agree to the commercial. They had some kind of deal. If Kieran did this, looked after you, and didn’t try anything on, Dad would help Kieran get back on the England team.”
An odd laugh rose up in me. That was ridiculous. Kieran had never met Dad. “Looked after me? What do you mean?”Dad had fixed it so I had to do that awful commercial that he knew I didn’t want to do? And Kieran had gone along with that?
The woman at the front eulogized about Dad, but my brain couldn’t process the words. Panic spiraled in my chest, and every beat of my heart felt louder and more frenzied. That couldn’t be true, could it? Although it had a kind of logic to it. Kieran had been so adamant in the PR meeting that he wouldn’t do the commercial. Then he’d been so grumpy and standoffish at the gym, then suddenly on the plane he’d had a dramatic turnaround. He was the one who had instigated the truce between us.
The room began to spin. The black roses that climbed the wall tangled and blurred. I gasped for breath, but all the air had been sucked out of the room and replaced with the heavy fragranceof lilies. It couldn’t be right, but I trusted Ollie. He wouldn’t lie. Footballers told lies, not brothers.
Where was Kieran now? He’d told me he’d come for this funeral. He hadn’t replied to any of my texts. Of course he wouldn’t want to come if this was true. Could it be true? My heart weighed heavy in my chest. How humiliating if it was. Why wouldn’t he have come clean about it? He’d been keeping a secret from me the entire time?
Dad and Kieran must have spoken about me behind my back to make their little arrangement. My mind drifted to when I’d heard Gerard talking about me. Everything I’d known about Gerard was a lie. I’d trusted him, and he’d been laughing at me. If Kieran had been lying to me too, then how much of any of it was true with him? None of it. How could it be?
I’d overridden every one of my instincts telling me exactly what Kieran was like. What a fool. A visceral humiliation gripped me, swirling like ice water in my stomach. How could I have been so stupid again? I’d known he was trouble, but I’d fallen for him anyway.
Ollie squeezed my hand. His eyes were full of sympathy. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Not as sorry as me.
Chapter 36
Joanie
A thick cloud from a smoke machine blasted me and I stepped out of its path. I already felt like I couldn’t take a full breath, without adding smoke to the mix. My body shook as I scanned the marquee, looking for Dad. The candles flickered on their plinths, bathing black and ruby-red roses with buttery light. Chandeliers glinted overhead, and black balloons floated around in a Gothic extravaganza.
The twanging of electric guitars being tuned pierced the air as Neon Mint warmed up on the stage at the front. Dad was up there, soundchecking the mic. Spotlights dazzled me as I stepped to the side of the makeshift stage. I needed to get out of this stupid party, but first I needed to know the truth. How could my own father humiliate me and meddle like that?
I cupped my hands over my mouth. “Dad, I need to speak to you.”
He twisted at the microphone stand. “Can it wait? We’re warming up.”
“No. It can’t wait. Please. It’s important.”
