Page 53 of Playing for Possession
Such filthy words. No one had ever spoken to me like that before. The pleasure at my core radiated to the base of my spine—a powerful shock of relief that spread in pulsing satisfaction. My hands tightened painfully on the metal railing. Electricity sparked from my toes to the crown of my head. Hot, senseless ecstasy coursed through me and unfurled in slow contracting swells. The ocean of bright stars overhead swirled and called to me to leave my body and float in the inky night above. A stream of unholy, shuddering gasps left my mouth.
I collapsed, boneless, against the railing, and Kieran must have been holding me, because I was completely limp but somehow I didn’t hit the deck. Slowly, my surroundings came back into focus. The sweat began to evaporate from my skin and a great shiver ran through me. Kieran was still moving inside me, but his strokes were wild and urgent. He pressed his face into my upper back, pulling me in harder and faster.
His tortured groan filled my ears as he withdrew swiftly. Wet heat hit the base of my spine. A strange silence wrapped around us. What had just happened? One minute we’d been talking, the nextripping each other’s clothes off. I’d been so overcome with passion that I’d lost myself. I’d had sex for the first time, and that hadn’t been my intention when I’d woken up this morning. It hadn’t even been my intention when I’d stepped onto this balcony. Something had shifted inside of me the minute his lips had touched mine.
Shock at the intensity and speed of what had just happened held me rigid. Wet heat trickled from my spine over my bare ass cheeks. I moved to yank my dress down to cover myself, but he grabbed my wrists, stilling me.
“No. Don’t move, you’ll ruin your dress.” His voice was rough and breathless. “Wait here. One second.”
He disappeared toward the bedroom. I yanked my dress down, because there was no way I was going to wait bent over a balcony with my bare ass out. The soft light of the bedroom made me blink after all that darkness, but I raced through it, down the hall and to the bathroom. I shut the door and snicked the lock. I waited for the shower to get hot before I pulled my dress over my head.
In the shower, searing hot water pounded me, and so did the thoughts in my head. I’d had sex for the first time.
A knock sounded on the door. “Joanie?”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t. The shower was loud. Hopefully, he’d think I couldn’t hear him, or he’d get the message and go. I couldn’t talk to him, not yet.
Another knock. “Is everything OK?”
Heat and steam swirled around me in the silence.
Another knock. “Joanie?” His voice held a note of alarm. “Is something wrong?”
I could picture him outside, leaning against the bathroom door with his brows drawn and that world-weary expression he often wore. I wasn’t trying to upset him. I just needed to process this and I did my best thinking alone. That’s when my head was the most quiet. I’d got used to my own company over the past nine months.
“Nothing’s wrong. Don’t worry.” The hammering water muffled my cry.
I used the showerhead to soothe the swollen, burning throb between my thighs. It had hurt, but at some point the pain had mixed with the pleasure and taken the edge off. Maybe I should have told him so he would have gone easier on me, but it had happened fast and I’d made a split-second decision. He wouldn’t have wanted the responsibility of being someone’s first time. I’d spared him that extra layer of complexity.
“Can I come in?”
I rinsed the last of the conditioner out of my hair, savoring the mango aroma. “No. You can’t come in.”
“Why not?”
I turned the shower off. Residual heat wrapped around me like a soothing blanket. “Because I’m naked.”
“Good. I like you naked.”
Please. Give me a minute.“I won’t be long,” I yelled back.
“I need to know that you’re OK. Please.”
The desperation in his voice made my heart contract. I didn’t want to play games or mess him around, but I needed the headspace. This was overwhelming. I wrapped my hair in a towel, slipped on a fluffy bathrobe, and stepped out of the bathroom. Kieran stood on the landing. His impressive inked torso was bare, but mercifully he’d put on a pair of gray sweatpants.
I tried to keep my gaze from dropping to the V of his hips. Of course he would wear his sweatpants this low slung. Of course he would look this good in them. A quiver of desire went through me. I’d lost my mind. He’d put some kind of sex spell on me with those abs.
“You disappeared.” His voice was soft.
“I needed to clean up.”
“I could help you with that. Maybe we could both—”
“No.”
Hurt flickered in his eyes. “No?”
“That was so quick and—”
