Page 42 of Between Then and Now
As she continues to recount her dream, I can’t help but feel both relieved and frustrated. Part of me wants to press her, to dive into the depths of what happened last night.
I’m honestly ready to talk about the kiss, to unpack what it might have meant. But another part of me is grateful for this easy, familiar banter.
“For your next date, you should really get Alexa something,” she says, “a way to apologize for embarrassing her.” She glares at me. “I’m thinking of going to the souvenir shop some time. Wanna come with?” she says it so casually I don’t know if it makes me happy or annoyed that she doesn’t evenmention the kiss. And she just talks about Alexa. I haven’t even thought about Alexa since our date yesterday. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t even thinking about her during the date.
I sigh. “Sure.” I manage to say before Bon enters the bathroom. I think I know the reason why I haven’t thought about Alexa and why I’m sure there won’t be a second date between us. I think I know the reason why, even when there’s a literal door between us, my mind is always on Bonbon. I think I know, but I’m not sure.
As I hear the shower running from the other side of the door, someone knocks on our room, which strikes me as odd because no one ever knocks here. I make my way to the door and see John standing outside.
“Hey, Ry. Got a minute?” he asks as I step out and close the door behind me.
“Sure, what’s up?”
He scratches the back of his head. “I’ve been trying to ask you, but for some reason, I can’t get ahold of you, so I decided to just come here first thing in the morning,” he says, and I raise my eyebrows to ask him to continue.
“I just want to reconfirm… are you and Bon still just friends?” he says softly. I think my eyes bulge a little as I slightly panic because, for some reason, I thought he found out about our kiss last night. But I realize it’s an absurd possibility, so I try to keep a straight face. Thankfully, John doesn’t notice my slip of emotion and continues, “I’m planning to ask her out, and I wanna make sure I’m not crossing any line here.”
Oh.
This takes me back to the first jeepney ride when they asked if we’re dating. It’s only been two weeks since then, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Our answer was a big resounding no. I hadmy eyes on Alexa, and only Alexa. There wasn’t any trace of romance between me and Bonbon. So, if John had asked me two weeks ago, I would’ve even set up their date for them.
Now, we’re technically still just friends. We might have shared a kiss, but it wasn’t in the context of romance or dating or a relationship of any sort. And I’m not sure Bon would appreciate it if I assume that she doesn’t want to go out with John.
“Well, that’s early. Is this your first thought in the morning?” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. He chuckles in embarrassment, but I can see that he’s still waiting for my answer, so I say, “But yeah, yeah. Bon and I are just friends,” I say, my voice steady even though my stomach twists in a way I can’t quite explain.
John sighs with what I assume is relief. Why do I feel a pang in my stomach? Is it jealousy? It’s just breakfast, and he’s only going to ask her out. Who’s to say she’d even say yes? And even if she does, what right do I have to be bothered by it?
“Thanks, Ry.” He claps my shoulder, his grip firm and appreciative.
Just as I’m about to go back inside, the door opens and Bon’s forehead bumps into my back.
“Oops, sorry,” she says, then peeks behind me to say, “Hey, John. Whatcha doing here so early in the morning?”
“Just about to ask you to have breakfast with me, actually,” John says smoothly. I envy his confidence. He wanted to ask Bon out, and he did. Just like that. He didn’t need to seek out a friend’s help and complicate their relationship.
I realize I’m standing between them as they speak, like an intruder in my own personal space, so I move. As I do so, Bon reveals herself in full view. She’s wearing a knotted oversizedwhite shirt with a Care Bear print, denim shorts adorned with little daisies, and yellow Crocs with an overspill of bedazzlement. I look at her hair and see that she’s wearing a headband that frames her face perfectly.
“Oh,” Bon says, obviously caught off guard. She smiles her usual sunshine-filled smile and adds, “Let’s get going then, I’m starving.”
She steps in front of me so she’s beside John. “You coming, Miller?” Miller. Just friends, indeed.
“You two go ahead,” I say, forcing a smile. “I’ll catch up in a while.”
I watch them walk away, the distance between us growing with every step they take. My chest feels heavy, my stomach twisting into tighter knots. Why does it bother me so much to see her with him? I lean against the door frame, watching until they disappear from view. Maybe I should talk to Bon about it, clear the air before it gets too complicated. But what if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she likes John? And what exactly is this feeling that I want her to return? I run a hand through my hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.
They say the line between love and friendship is thin, but what happens when the line, from the way I see it, isn’t just thin? It isn’t even blurred. The line’s just… gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Bonita
It’s been two days sincethe kiss. I’ve been trying to act as normal as I can. I don’t really know what’s happening in my head right now, or how it impacts my relationship with Ryan. All I know is that the kiss was something I could never forget, no matter how hard I tried. And I tried. Hard.
I spend the day in the room, intending to catch up on editing my film. With the amount of footage I’ve gathered, I feel confident that I have enough to craft a compelling documentary. As part of my process, I asked all twenty doctors the same question when we first arrived: “How do you think this experience will shape your medical career?” I plan to pose this question again before we leave to gauge any changes. Here’s what some of them said initially:
Mia: This mission might inspire me to incorporate more community outreach into my practice back home
John: I hope this mission will give me a deeper understanding of how to provide care with limited resources
