Page 50 of Between Then and Now
I watch as Bon picks up a pink woven scarf and twirls it around her neck, her movements fluid and graceful. She continues to chat with her mom, and they both burst into laughter about something amusing. Bon strikes another playful pose with the scarf, her laughter infectious even from a distance. Instinctively, I take out my phone to snap a photo of her. I don’t know why I keep doing this, but I feel a strong need to capture Bon’s happiness. Besides, I don't think she has many photos of herself from this trip, as she’s always the one behind the camera.
Suddenly, a wind blows, causing Bon’s pink scarf to fly away with it. It flutters through the air, almost like it’s dancing, before landing near me. I quickly pick it up and hand it back to her.
“The scarf looks great. You should get it,” I say, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Nah, I’m just messing around with my mom,” she replies as she folds the scarf.
“Looks good on you, though.” I grab it from her hands and drape it around her neck again. She rolls her eyes at me, but she doesn’t remove it.
“Everything looks good on me,” she says. Can’t argue with that. “And thanks for the scarf, then.” She winks, then turns away to skip toward her parents, who are now engrossed in a local street show. I chuckle as I go over to the vendor to pay for Bon’s scarf.
“Your girlfriend’s really pretty,” the vendor says as I hand her the bill.
“Oh, she’s–” I’m about to correct her, but then I decide to just let the misconception slide. “Yeah, she really is.” Sue me, but I smile as the vendor comments that we look good together.
We continue on with the rest of the day, strolling in the market, watching street performers, resting under large trees, and trying out local snacks (a personal favorite isuvedballs, like meatballs but better).
As the sun is setting, we stop by a stall selling refreshments. Bon orders a concoction of mixed fruits that looks as colorful as it does overwhelming. She laughs when I order a plain banana fruit shake.
“Don’t,” I say as I take a sip. She just chuckles and proceeds to drink her “Tropical Surprise” smoothie. I scrunch my nose as I watch her, and she laughs at me. After she sips, she holds out her cup toward me.
“Judge all you want, Miller, but you should really try this,” she insists, her eyes dancing with mischief.
Normally, I would gag at the sight of it. I prefer simplicity in my food (and in most things in my life, really), but there’s something about the way she’s looking at me right now—her eyes wide with excitement and her smile so irresistible as she dares me to try it out. And again, I find myself giving in, not because I want to, but because it’s Bon, and she makes the idea of saying no seem utterly impossible.
With a sigh of resignation that only Bon can extract from me, I reach for her cup and take a tiny sip.
As the flavor hits my tongue, I grimace. I pull the cup away and swallow, forcing a smile as I hand it back to her. “Terrible.Just terrible. This shouldn’t be up for human consumption,” I say.
I may like Bon, but her food preferences are still out of the question. I turn my back to the man in the stall so as not to offend him as I cough and gag. Bonbon just laughs at me and continues to drink the death potion.
“Should we go for a walk by the beach?” Bon’s dad’s voice pulls me back to the fact that we’re not alone. I glance at Bon to gauge if she’s uncomfortable going to the beach, but she just smiles and insists that we go now to see the sunset.
As we’re walking, her parents make their way toward the shore, but we stay a few feet away. “Ugh, the beach gives me the jitters now,” Bon says as we sit on the sand, far from the shore.
“We don’t have to stay here,” I say, getting ready to get up. She holds my arm and pulls me back to sit down.
“No, I need this. I can’t be scared of the ocean forever.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think you deserve at least some time to wallow in your fear? I know I do.” The image of her lying there while I save her is something that will be etched in my brain forever.
Bon suddenly puts a hand to her forehead and shakes her head. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m terrible,” she says. I look at her, confused, when she continues, “Of course it bothers you too. You were there too. I’m sorry, yeah, we should go.”
“Bon. I’m not scared for myself,” I say, slowly understanding what she’s freaking out about. I’m scared of the ocean, yes. But that’s the least of the concerns here. “I’m scared for you. I don’t want you to go through that again.”
“You say it like you didn’t go through it with me.” She settles back down and looks at me.
“Like I said, I’d do it all over again if I had to. But for your sake, let’s hope I don’t.”
She smiles at me, and we stay that way for a while. She removes her bucket hat and ruffles her hair, which blows in the wind. It’s a gesture so light and simple but it hitches my breath in a way.
“The ocean used to be one of my favorite places, now it just reminds me of…” she trails off.
“Hey,” I say, holding her hand. The electric shock when I hold her is something I’m slowly getting used to. Bon looks up at me, her eyes watery. “You’re allowed to feel that way. It’s normal after what happened. You don’t have to force yourself to face it until you’re ready.”
Bon registers what I said, then she looks at me, her eyes filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. “I don’t want to be ruled by fear. If I let this scare me away from the ocean, what else will I start avoiding?”
“We’ll take it one step at a time. If today feels too much, we can come back another day. There’s no rush.”
