Page 72 of Between Then and Now
“Told you I’d take your breath away,” he grins, and I laugh even harder, shaking my head.
“Well, mission accomplished,” I catch my breath, my laughter subsiding into a genuine smile. “Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?”
His eyes soften, and he takes a step closer.”First, you look beautiful, Bon.” He smiles, scanning me from head to toe. “And congratulations on your award, you deserve it.”
“Wouldn’t have done it without you,” I say. “Thanks, by the way.”
“Don’t mention it,” he says. “The real reason I’m here is because I feel like I haven’t told you what really matters.”
My voice quivers as I ask, “What matters?”
“That I love you, Bon. I’minlove with you. And I think I have been for the longest time.” He walks closer to me. “I came all the way here because I can’t spend another day knowing you’re doubting yourself. That you’re worrying about things that won’t happen. That you’re stressing yourself out. I can’t just stay there while you’re like this. What’s exactly worrying you, Bon?”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I blink them away, trying to keep my composure. “I–I’m worried that I’m not gonna be enough for you,” I whisper, my voice breaking.
“You are more than enough,” he says firmly, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “You’re everything, Bon. You’re the light in my life, the one who makes everything better just by being there. You don’t even have to try.”
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “I’m scared,” I admit, my voice trembling. “Scared that if I let you in, you’ll see all my flaws and you’ll leave.”
He shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’ve seen your flaws, Bon. I’ve seen your fears, your doubts, your insecurities. And I love you more because of them. They make you who you are. They make you real. And I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
His words pierce through the walls I’ve built around my heart, breaking them down piece by piece. “And what if I mess up?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he says, his hand slipping from my cheek to entwine with mine. “Relationships aren’t about being perfect. They’re about growing together, supporting each other, and loving each other despite the imperfections. I want to be there for you, Bon. Through the good times and the bad. Through every laugh and every tear. Please… let me.” He pleads like I hold his life in my hands. How in the world do I deserve this perfection of a man?
“Bon, don’t get me wrong,” he says after some time. “I can—I will—give you the space you want, if you still want it. I just came here so I can tell you that I love you. And no, you don’t even have to tell me that you love me back. I have enough love for both of us. And I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes. If that’s what you want.”
I can’t help but laugh a bit. “I can’t believe this,” I say.
“Why?”
“Because! You’re unbelievable!” I say. “I’m the one who left you with a note after we slept together. I’m the one who should be convincing you to let me in, to forgive me, and to give me a chance. I’m the one who should be telling you all these things.
“I’ve been thinking about how to tell you everything when you get back, but you’re here and this is all just too much, and I can’t believe it. You’re saying you accept me for all I am but that terrifies me because no one has ever wanted all of me. Or the parts that aren’t bright and shiny. No one has ever looked at me like that. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this. And I haveto know. I have to know so I can keep doing it and you’re gonna keep doing this, and–”
“Bon,” he says, cutting through my rambling with a soft, amused tone. “I missed your yapping.”
I scowl at him playfully, but a smile is already forming on my lips, the tension melting away. “Go ahead, then. Tell me what you want to tell me,” he continues.
“Okay, uh…” I start. “Ugh. When did you become the articulate one? I can’t even start without losing my focus.”
He shrugs. “Someone told me to just be myself and not overthink it.”
I smile slightly and I shake my head to regain composure. “I guess I love you too.”
“You guess?” he asks, frowning adorably.
I chuckle. “I love you too, Miller. I do. And I’d be lying if I say that I haven’t for a while now.” I take a step closer to him and hold his hand in mine. “You’re the only one who’s ever seen me like this, and not once did I hear you complain. You’re just… there. And it feels right. No matter what I tell myself, this feels right.”
“It is right,” he says with conviction, his eyes never leaving mine. “And I’m here to stay, whether you believe you deserve it or not. And I will remind you that you do. You deserve everything, Bonbon.”
I nod, smiling at him. I put my hand on the back of his head, my fingers intertwining in his hair. I place my other hand on his chest as he holds me by my waist and pulls me close.
“I want this. I want us. I don’t know what the future holds, and it scares me. But I want to face it with you.”
He smiles, his eyes shining with affection. “Then let’s do it. Let’s take it one day at a time.”
I nod, my heart swelling with a mix of love and hope. “One day at a time.”
