Page 36 of Star Witch
‘Not any longer.’
I pointed at the cups. ‘Someone has to make you coffee.’
‘I’m sure one of the other runners can do that.’
‘But…’
Armstrong held up his hand. ‘Would you rather be fêted as one of the contestants on the greatest show on earth or run around in the rain on errands?’
I’d rather lie on my sofa and eat chocolate. ‘I thought you had fond memories of your time as a runner.’
‘I lied. It’s horrific. We all know that. We’ve all been there.’ There were several murmurs of agreement from around the table. ‘This is a fast track to the top, Ivy. You’ll be amazing. You’re just what we need. You could clean and get blisters and bow and scrape. Or,’ he deepened his voice to show just what a fabulous opportunity I was supposedly getting, ‘you could be a contestant onEnchantment. Do you know how many applicants we get?’
‘So choose one of them.’
‘We don’t have time. You’ll have a far easier time on the show than behind the scenes.’
He had a point. But it would be hard to do any proper investigating if I were being filmed at every moment. Winter probably wouldn’t like it either.
‘Nope. Still not doing it.’
Armstrong stood up. ‘Do you want to be here?’
Not really. Not with zombies running around the place. ‘Yes.’
‘Then become a contestant.’ He shrugged. ‘Or get out.’
Arse. His eyes didn’t waver. He wasn’t bluffing. ‘But Adeptus Exemptus Winter…’ I began.
‘I’ll worry about him from now on. It’s not as if you’ve told me anything about him yet anyway. He probably found out about the pentagram in Trevor Bellows’ trailer from you.’
I was prevented from giving an answer by Mazza, who burst in with a newspaper in his hands. ‘I was told to show you this!’ he gasped breathless.
I glanced at the headline.Battenapple’s Horror. I peered closer. It appeared to be a story about how disturbed she was by the death of Benjamin Alberts. My heart sank when I spotted the photo underneath the headline of two familiar teenage boys who were quoting a ‘special on-set source’. Bloody hell.
Armstrong transformed in an instant. His cheeks puffed out and a vein started bulging in his forehead. ‘Where did this come from?’ he yelled. ‘This is supposed to be a closed set! When I find out who has talked, I will rip them a new one!’
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I’ll be your new contestant.’ I forced a grin. ‘It’ll be better than being a runner, right?’
Half of the seated producers exchanged knowing looks. I had a feeling I’d just swapped one horrific job role for something far, far worse but I couldn’t allow myself to be thrown off set – Winter needed me. And now that the issue of necromancy meant I had more of an inkling about how bad things could get, I couldn’t abandon my favourite TV show to flesh-eating monsters. I’d have nothing to watch for months.
Armstrong pointed to the well-dressed fellow who’d first asked about the Order. ‘Barry, you’re her new producer. Get her ready for this afternoon.’ He stomped over to Mazza and snatched the newspaper from his hands. ‘This is ridiculous!’
Barry, it appeared, didn’t want to stick around any more than I did. He loped over to me and grabbed me by the elbow. ‘Come on, darling. Let’s go.’
I let him lead me out of the tent. Even though I was escaping the wrath of Armstrong, there was a horrible sinking sensation in my stomach. Just what exactly was I letting myself in for now?
Chapter Eleven
If I thought that I could take things easy now that my position as runner had been swept away at the whim of Armstrong and Belinda Battenapple, I was sorely mistaken. Barry the producer whisked me over to a dilapidated trailer where the legal team were located. They immediately abandoned their paperwork about the company’s lack of responsibility should any death and dismemberment occur for any and all crew members, and threw various wads of legalese at me to sign.
‘This is a waiver for any injury caused by your own actions. This is a waiver for any injury caused by the actions of other contestants. This is a waiver for any injury caused by marauding zombies.’
Okay, I was kidding about the last one but, given what other contingencies they’d prepared for, I was surprised that monsters weren’t included on the list. I wondered whether that meant my family would get compensation if a member of the walking dead ate me. Given how many bits of paper I had to sign, it seemed unlikely.
I’d have read through everything if the first paragraph of the first sheet hadn’t given me a headache. I had the feeling that it was designed to be as complex and incomprehensible as possible. In the end I gave up trying to be responsible and scribbled my name on everything they put in front of me.
Barry appeared positively giddy. He seemed to think that my magical powers meant I’d have a sure-fire ticket to the finale. If I did well he did well, or so he kept telling me. As if I cared.
