Page 67 of Quiver of Cobras
Hmm. I scratched my chin. Keeping her safely out of Rubus’s clutches was probably worth staying up for, I supposed.
***
Forty minutes later, I was beyond bored. I mean, there’s bored and there’sbored. Like a blind person in an art gallery bored. Or a eunuch in a brothel on discount Monday bored.
Finn didn’t look bored; his face was constantly alert. If his ears could have pricked up like a dog’s, they’d have been standing to attention. His eyes swung up and down the street continuously. I just sighed continuously.
‘What course do you think they’re on now?’ I asked. ‘I mean, surely they’re having dessert, if not coffee.’
‘It looks like they’ve only just finished their starter,’ he said, squinting.
‘This is ridiculous. We’ll be here all night.’ I thought of my bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable place in the world but it was better than here. I was getting cramp and it was starting to drizzle. I didn’t even have Morgan around to entertain me. Or hug me. ‘Do you have a phone on you?’
Finn looked at me suspiciously. ‘Why?’
‘Well,’ I explained, ‘I was all set to have dinner with those two before they kicked me out. I’ve not eaten anything for hours and I’m probably wasting away as we speak. We can order pizza. It’ll pass the time and I’ll fill my belly.’ I patted my stomach fondly. ‘I’ll let you choose the toppings.’
‘Hawaiian,’ Finn said instantly.
I recoiled away from him. ‘What’s wrong with you? Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza!’
‘Pizza is the only place where pineapple belongs,’ he said serenely.
Yuckity-yuck-yuck. ‘Very well. Hand over your phone. I’ll call.’
‘How do you remember about pineapple on pizza? How do you know you don’t like it?’
‘It’s not that I don’t like it,’ I told him, taking his phone. ‘It’s that I instinctively know that pineapple on pizza is rancid. It’s a fact of life. I can remember to speak English. I can remember how to walk. And I can remember that pineapple on pizza is only for crazy people.’ I glanced down and dialled the number.
Finn’s eyes narrowed even further. ‘You remember a pizza delivery number?’ He leaned over my shoulder. ‘What the fuck?’
I shrugged. ‘Oops. My finger slipped.’
‘999, what’s your emergency?’ the operator asked.
I dazzled Finn with a broad smile and answered. ‘Police, please!’ I said breathlessly. ‘I’m at La Boheme on South Street. There’s a man with a gun. He’s…’ I broke off into a scream and hung up. Then I stretched my smile even further.
Rather than being impressed, Finn looked furious. ‘You know they track mobile phones, right? You know the police have those capabilities?’
‘Oh.’ I shrugged. ‘I guess I have forgotten some things about daily life. Sorry.’ I dropped his phone and crunched it under my heel. ‘Problem solved.’ I clapped him on the arm. ‘You can thank me later.’
‘You’re a bloody idiot.’
I grinned. ‘Am I? Do you really want to hang around on this cold, wet street all night while they enjoy themselves inside? We’re saving the world, Finny boy. We don’t need to be damp and miserable while we’re doing it.’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t get,’ he said. ‘I just don’t get it. What on earth does Morgan see in you?’
‘You’re just jealous that I don’t want to get into your trousers too,’ I beamed.
Finn looked faintly disgusted but I was pretty sure I saw a glimmer of happiness too. I suspected it had nothing to do with relief at my declared lack of interest in him and everything to do with the fact that I’d sensibly cut short our stake-out.
‘What about my pizza?’
Sirens sounded from a street or two away. ‘I’ll owe you,’ I promised him. ‘Stay down. We need to make sure they don’t spot us.’
He muttered a grumbled curse under his breath but he did as I asked.
I’ll say this for Manchester’s finest: they could certainly move when they wanted to. Five police cars screeched up and, without waiting, the first officers smashed in the glass door to the restaurant. There were dismayed shrieks and squeals from inside. Impressive. Maybe I’d see if I could get myself a police uniform. The colour wouldn’t really suit me but if it garnered that sort of reaction it would be worth it.
