Page 11 of Box of Frogs
I hadn't thought it was possible for the assistant’s cheeks to get any redder but they did. He coughed loudly and turned away. ‘I'll just be a minute.’
Unable to resist, I smiled and called out, ‘Can I borrow your phone?’ I glanced at Bodyguard Mark. ‘Do you have the number for theDaily Journal?’
He took a threatening step towards me but Julie laughed. ‘She's yanking your chain,’ she said. ‘Believe me, I've been in this business long enough to know about my fans’ real motivation.’
I thought about reminding her that I had no clue who she was and so I definitely wasn't a fan but I'd probably pushed my luck enough for one night. In any case, the assistant had already counted out the Valium pills and was passing them over. ‘Here you go,’ he said, holding them out to Julie.
Bodyguard Mark reached out and palmed the bottle, before rolling it around in his large hands. Then, as we all watched, he unscrewed the lid and examined the contents. He might have the build of Arnold Schwarzenegger but he was all brawn and no brains.
‘Seriously?’ I asked. ‘What are you expecting to find? Have you been properly trained? If you really want to check those pills, you should be doing it in privacy not out here in the open where anyone can see you. You’re broadcasting her weak spots for all the world to see. Why did you even bring her here? If you're protecting her, you should have left her in a safe place and come to get the prescription yourself.’ I glanced at Julie. ‘I don't know what you're paying this guy but, whatever it is, it is far, far too much.’
‘How do you know all this?’ she asked. ‘Are you in the protection business too?’
I hesitated. Maybe I was. Maybe that was how I put my superhero skills into action and how I knew that the faint ripples in the fabric of his suit meant Bodyguard Mark had a shoulder holster with a gun neatly tucked away inside it. I also knew that an old injury was causing him chronic lower-back pain that he was doing a decent job of concealing. ‘You could say that,’ I said eventually.
‘Why the fancy dress? Are you in amateur dramatics?’
Amateur melodramatics only. ‘No. I just…’ I raised a shoulder. What the hell. ‘I wanted to dress up because I’m a superhero. Jeans and a T-shirt just don’t seem to match my personality in the same way that an electric-blue cape and a leotard do.’
Julie grinned. ‘You go, girl.’
She might have been charmed but Bodyguard Mark seemed to be under the impression that I was trying to poach his client. He gave me a narrow-eyed evil look, which might have stopped me in my tracks if I hadn't just had an encounter with the embodiment of evil himself, and began to hustle Julie out of the shop. She managed a light-hearted cheerio before the door jangled shut after them.
‘I didn't even get a selfie or an autograph,’ the pharmacy assistant said mournfully. ‘No one will believe me when I tell them she was here.’
‘Well, I didn't get to keep my place in the queue,’ I snapped. ‘What about my nux?’
‘I still have no idea what you're talking about.’ He shrugged. ‘I've never heard of it before and there are no details of it in our system. I suggest you try the Batcave instead.’
I put my hands on my hips and shook out my cape. ‘You making fun of me?’
‘Heaven forbid,’ he said. He motioned towards the shelves. ‘You’re welcome to search for yourself if you wish.’
I gave the various items on display a cursory once-over but unfortunately I didn’t know what I was looking for any more than he did. Eventually I gave up and stomped out. I’d have to try the internet instead. I could probably order the darn stuff online.
Massaging my poor finger, I continued on my way. The rain had started once again. I was about to pick up my feet and make a run for it before my costume became entirely waterlogged when I spotted the gleaming car on the opposite side of the street. It was at a standstill but its engine was running and the passenger door was wide open. Given that the number plate was J00LZ, it didn’t take a genius to realise who it belonged to.
I cursed. That bodyguard really was next to useless. Even a child would know that taking such an expensive and showy vehicle out with Julie Whoever’s name emblazoned on it was a stupid move. I stomped over. It had been kind of fun winding him up in the shop but now I was getting irritated.
I went round the back of the car, ducking my head towards the open door. ‘Seriously,’ I said, ‘you really need to think about…’ I stopped. The car was empty. I frowned and checked the driver’s seat. Nope. Definitely empty. Bodyguard Mark was stupid – but there was no way he was this stupid.
I craned my neck round. There was no sight of anyone else. There was, however, a dark alleyway up ahead to my right. Ah ha. Twirling once more for effect – although my cape was now too wet to do more than flap uselessly – I sneaked over and peered down it.
There was a prone body lying on the ground a few metres up the alley. I couldn’t see the face but I was willing to bet my groovy sequined mask that it was Bodyguard Mark. Further up, shrouded in heavy darkness, two figures were scuffling. There was a muffled, high-pitched shriek. I guessed Julie hadn’t hired a bodyguard just for show then; she really did need saving.
‘This,’ I murmured under my breath, ‘can only be a job for the Madhatter.’
Wasting no further time, I raced towards them. Whoever was attacking Julie was making a meal of it. He towered over her with one gloved hand clamped over her mouth and the other holding her in place. She still managed several sharp kicks against his shin and, even though he was wearing a skanky-looking balaclava, his oomphs of pain made it clear that he was struggling.
‘I am the Madhatter!’ I yelled, barrelling towards them. ‘You will stop now or suffer the consequences!’
The attacker slammed his elbow into Julie’s temple and she crumpled. Then, with the casual, practised movements of a pro, he reached into his belt and drew out some kind of Taser.
Easy peasy: I’d just warp time as I had before and beat him to the ground before he could pull the trigger. Concentrating, I reached for the power. I felt a familiar tightening in my stomach but this time nothing seemed to happen. I tried again. Gasbudlikins. Whatever magic I’d drawn on before wasn’t working. I came to a skidding halt, just as Julie’s attacker smiled and raised the Taser.
Two small darts shot out and connected with my tummy. There was a brief tingle – and nothing else. I frowned. ‘That tickles.’
Behind his own mask, the man’s eyes widened. He shook the Taser as if willing it to work. ‘Fucking…’
