Page 12 of Box of Frogs
I lashed out, punching him in the stomach as hard as I could. Unfortunately, the action seemed to do my hand more damage than it did him. He threw the Taser down and faced me, teeth bared. I shook my hand in the air as if to flick off the pain. ‘Ouchy. Are you wearing a steel corset?’
He was apparently unwilling to participate in small talk and flung himself towards me once more, fists swinging. I must have been some sort of hand-to-hand combat expert in a previous life because from a mile off I could see he was aiming for the right side of my head. I neatly dodged him, spun round and grinned. ‘You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.’ My quip would have sounded better if my rain-sodden cape hadn’t spun with me and smacked me wetly in the face as I was saying it. Why on earth did superheroes wear shit like this?
I didn’t have time to ponder on the dress code of noble protectors for long. The man snarled and wasted no time in advancing and reaching out to grab a hank of my hair. This time I wasn’t fast enough and he snagged enough to pull me towards him. It felt like my scalp was being yanked away from my skull and I shrieked. Bloody arsebadger.
I twisted and turned in a bid to free myself. Fortunately for me, Julie took this moment to join the fray, leaping onto his back with her fingers scrabbling towards his eyes. As she jabbed her thumbs towards his eye sockets, he howled and let go of my hair. I took full advantage of my reprieve and darted forward, scooping up the Taser from the ground. As the man whipped round, throwing Julie onto the hard pavement, I leapt forward and pressed the muzzle into the bare skin just visible at his neckline. I pulled the trigger and, hey presto, this time it worked. He jerked and screamed, his body juddering for a few seconds before going completely limp.
Throwing the Taser away, I dusted off my palms and smirked. ‘Not such a bright spark now, are you?’
Julie coughed and rolled on to her side. I nipped over and helped her to her feet. She glanced from the man to me and back again. ‘That was … amazing.’
I nodded. ‘It was rather.’ I knelt down beside the still-prone man. ‘Let’s see who we’re dealing with, shall we?’ I reached for his balaclava just as flashing blue lights illuminated the street from near where Julie’s car was parked.
She clutched at my arm. ‘No police.’ Her voice was low and filled with vibrating alarm.
I looked at her curiously. ‘You should talk to them,’ I advised. ‘This guy wasn’t trying to kill you. He had a stun gun, not a shotgun. He probably wanted to abduct you.’ My tone was matter-of-fact but fear still flared in Julie’s eyes. ‘They can take him in for questioning and find out if there are others.’
Her panic only increased. ‘No. I can’t let that happen.’ She swallowed. ‘I won’t be that actor on the front page of every tabloid rag because I have a stalker. I value my privacy. If we go to the police then all that disappears.’
Part of me wanted to point out that if she really thought that much of her privacy perhaps she shouldn’t drive around with a flashy car and a personalised number plate. I was rather taken by her use of the word ‘we’, however. Not to mention that I had my own reasons for avoiding the police; if they connected me to the still unpublicized events at the golf course, I’d have a lot of unpleasant questions to answer. After all, if I’d been going to report what had happened to me, I should have already done so.
I shrugged. ‘As you wish. Get that useless bodyguard of yours to his feet and I’ll deal with the coppers.’
I sauntered over as a uniformed policeman emerged from the panda car and began to inspect Julie’s empty vehicle.
‘Hey, officer!’ I called out cheerily. ‘How are you this fine evening?’
‘Stay where you are,’ came the unimpressed response.
I stopped in my tracks. ‘Is there a problem?’
The policeman, together with another uniformed companion who appeared behind him, walked towards me. ‘Whose vehicle is this?’
‘Julie’s,’ I said confidently.
‘Julie who?’
Er… ‘Julie who plays Stacey in that soap opera.’ Gasbudlikins. What was it called again? ‘St Tomahawk Close.’
He peered at me. ‘St Thomas Close?’
I snapped my fingers. ‘That’s the one!’
There was a shuffling noise and the lady herself hobbled up with a groaning Bodyguard Mark leaning heavily against her. It was a wonder she didn’t collapse under the big man’s weight. ‘Hello!’ she cooed. ‘Sorry. I know I shouldn’t have parked there but it was an emergency. My friend here wasn’t feeling well and needed to throw up.’
Both policemen paused and did the sort of double take that I was starting to suspect passed for normal when you were a soap star. ‘You’re Julie Chivers.’
She attempted a curtsey; unfortunately, with Mark by her side, she ended up merely staggering. The first copper threw himself forward and quickly took Mark from her, hooking the bodyguard’s arm round his shoulder. ‘Here,’ he said. ‘Let me help you.’
She giggled. ‘Thank you so much. He is soooo heavy. I told him he shouldn’t have had so much to drink but…’ She shook her head in dismay. ‘What can you do?’
As if answering her, Mark groaned and tried to speak. She hushed him. ‘Don’t try to talk, dear. We’re getting you back to the car now with the help of these wonderful police officers.’
The wonderful police officers immediately took her veiled suggestion and half-dragged, half-lifted Mark into the back seat. He fell forward inside with just his feet sticking out. Trying to be helpful, I scooted up and gently pushed them in. Mark curled up into the foetal position and groaned some more. Honestly, ‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall’ was more of a truism than I’d realised.
‘He’s a friend of yours?’ the policeman asked.
Julie pursed her lips. ‘Friend of a friend.’ She pointed at me. I wasn’t sure I appreciated being dragged into her tale but it was a bit late now to do anything about it. ‘We were at a party.’
