Page 66 of Honour Bound
‘Say what?’
He tutted. ‘Pretty please with a side order of chocolate-dipped cherries and Princess Leia in a gold bikini dropping them into my mouth.’
‘I’m not saying that.’
‘I thought you liked science fiction.’
‘I do, but that is stupid. Just tell me which direction to go in. We’re wasting time.’
‘Okay. I’ll tell you where to go if you put on a gold bikini and wear it back at the cabin when we return. You have to put your hair into giant ear muffs as well.’
‘She didn’t have that hair style when she wore the gold bikini.’
Bob shrugged. ‘Those are my terms. And don’t get any ideas about why I’m asking for this. It’s not because I’ve got the hots for you, it’s because I enjoy ritual humiliation.’
I crossed my arms. ‘At least you’re honest.’
He smiled at me. ‘Promise.’
I could not believe I was doing this. ‘Fine,’ I snapped.
He held his hand up to his ear. ‘I didn’t hear that exactly. What will you do?’
I pictured Bob strung up on a tree and being attacked by a million midges. ‘I promise to wear a gold bikini.’
‘And the hair?’
‘And I will put my hair in giant ear muffs.’
He grinned. ‘Thank you!’ He flew up and hugged me. Considering his arms didn’t go round my neck, it was more like having a small, damp snowball thrown at me.
‘Bob,’ I said. ‘Which way?’
He peeled himself off. ‘North!’ He pointed.
I peered ahead. I couldn’t see anything. ‘You’re sure?’
‘Uh Integrity…’
‘Fine, fine. I’m going.’ And with that, I started jogging. I had to make up for lost time.
*
The wanker who had left me was smarter than I’d given him credit for. After twenty minutes of maintaining a good pace, I realised that I’d been travelling up a light slope. Thanks to a trick of perception, when I reached the top the hills I was aiming for were suddenly visible. Without Bob’s help I’d probably have set off in the opposite direction – and doing that might have killed me. I’d have to be on my guard; it wouldn’t take long for them to realise that their ploy hadn’t worked. Until I caught up with some of the other stragglers, I was alone – and therefore at risk. So much for simply climbing up an ice wall or two before triumphantly collecting my flag and emerging victorious. At this rate, I’d be grateful to emerge alive.
I picked up speed, moving faster now that I had a bead on where to go. Even with my decent footgear I slipped a few times, but such minor mishaps only made me more determined. I ran around this sort of place for a living so a wet, bruised arse wasn’t going to slow me down.
Just an hour or two after I was supposed to be at the starting point, I finally arrived there. The hills were smack bang in front of me and there were footprints. Most were going in the same direction although a few competitors had decided to take less direct routes. That was what I’d planned to do as well, but I was so far behind that I had little choice but to opt for the shortest possible distance.
‘Yay!’ Bob shouted, perched once more on my shoulder. ‘We made it! Now we can go back and you can wear that bikini!’
‘No,’ I said patiently. ‘Now the challenge is really on.’
He blew a raspberry. ‘You’re not going to win. You might as well quit now.’
‘Adairs don’t quit.’
‘Uh Integrity, how many Adairs do you know?’
