Page 36 of Fiendish Delights
He ignored me. ‘I will spit roast you and eat you for dinner!’ he snarled at Hester. That was something of an over-reaction. And Hester wouldn’t provide him with much more than a single mouthful.
‘Daddy isn’t going to hurt them, is he?’ the smaller child asked. ‘I want to take them home. You said we could get a pet. Let’s take them, both of them.’
Otis flinched but Hester curled her tiny hands into fists, baring her teeth. ‘Why, you little scrote. Pet? I’ll pet you, you?—’
‘Enough!’ I ordered before matters escalated further.
‘Is there a problem?’ Hugo asked smoothly, inserting himself into the tempest.
‘Yes, there’s a problem,’ the man snapped.
His wife stared at Hugo, then immediately swung her phone towards him. ‘Alan,’ she said.
‘I’ll tell you what the problem is,’ her husband continued, not listening to her.
‘Alan!’
‘Not now, Miranda!’
‘That’s Hugo Pemberville,’ she hissed.
‘I don’t care if it’s Lord Lucan. I—’ He stopped mid-sentence and his mouth fell open as the penny finally dropped. ‘Hugo Pemberville!’
Hugo smiled. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m so sorry about all this. There’s been a terrible misunderstanding.’
Although the man’s cheeks remained red, his manneraltered drastically. He rushed forward, his hand outstretched. ‘I’m a huge fan!’
Hugo shook his hand. ‘That’s so very kind.’
‘You’re here hunting for something, aren’t you?’ Alan’s eyes widened. ‘You’re looking for treasure, right?’
‘We’re only doing some preliminary investigations,’ Hugo said. ‘And training a new apprentice.’ He pointed at me and I did my best to look like an enthusiastic trainee, although I was as impressed by him as the family. Hugo had morphed instantly into full PR mode; his smile was professional, his voice was smooth, and he gave every impression of being delighted to chat to a complete stranger in the middle of a dark car park in the middle of December.
‘Please forgive my small colleagues here. They misunderstood their instructions,’ he said.
‘I didn’t!’ Otis glared.
‘Of course, of course. It’s no problem at all.’ Alan was now smiling.
‘You can visit the graveyard at any time. It’s certainly not out of bounds,’ Hugo continued.
‘We don’t want to interrupt your great work.’
‘You’re not interrupting anything. Honestly.’
‘Can I have your autograph?’
‘You certainly can.’ Hugo clasped his hands together. ‘If you’ll do me a small favour.’
The man bounced on his toes. ‘Anything!’
‘We’re trying to keep a low profile. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t post that video on social media.’ He gestured to the woman who was still clutching her phone and filming every second.
‘Oh no! We wouldn’t do that! Don’t worry.’ Alan punched Hugo’s arm lightly. ‘You can trust us!’
‘Thank you so much,’ Hugo smiled. Becky appeared andhanded him a pen and a piece of paper in a way that suggested this was far from the first time he’d been asked for an autograph. He scribbled his signature. ‘It’s been lovely to meet you.’
‘Mummy? Can we take the tiny fairies home with us?’ One of the children asked.
