Page 48 of Fiendish Delights
‘Less is more, Hes,’ Otis frowned. ‘Or rather more is less.Perhaps you should put a cardigan over the top of your dress, Daisy. And button it up.’
I wasn’t going to do that, either. ‘You two should stop being so judgmental about what I wear.’
Hester twirled in the air. ‘But you want to look sexy for Hugo!’
I ground my teeth. ‘I donot.’
‘She doesn’t want him, Hes,’ Otis argued.
‘She does want him. She’s just too afraid to admit it.’
‘All he wants is sex.’
‘So?’ Hes challenged him.
‘He can’t cope with her addiction.’
‘That’s his problem. Not Daisy’s.’
‘If Daisy has sex,’ Otis said earnestly, ‘goodsex, she’ll need at least four spider’s silk pills beforehand to stop her magic from destroying half of Edinburgh during the throes of passion. We all know what’s been happening to her lately. And we all know that Hugo will provide very good sex because?—’
Aaaaargh! ‘Enough! Hugo and I will remain professional and friendly.’ I hoped. ‘There will be nothing more.’ I glared at the brownies. ‘And there will be no more discussion on the matter.’
They exchanged looks. ‘Sure, Daisy,’ they chorused.
I had a sinking feeling it was going to be a very long night.
My favourite pair of grumpy, recalcitrant bouncers were on the door of the Royal Elvish Institute, standing beneath an elaborate garlanded centrepiece, while strains of music could beheard from inside. To be fair to the doormen, they were only grumpy towards me; they were perfectly polite to everyone else.
‘Huey! Duey!’ I waved at them. ‘Long time no see!’
They folded their arms across their broad chests with pleasing synchronicity. ‘My name is Lewis,’ said the doorman on the right. ‘And he is called James.’
I clapped my hands. ‘Finally we’re on a first-name basis! You’ll be inviting me around for tea and cake soon.’
They simply stared at me. Oh well. Baby steps.
As I started to climb the steps. Lewis and James moved in front of the door to bar my way. ‘We need to check whether your name is on the guest list before we can permit entry,’ Lewis growled.
I knew my name was on the list because I’d suffered enough humiliation at this place not to check beforehand. Hugo and I may have parted on awkward terms, but he’d still had the foresight to add my low-elf name to the list of attendees.
I waved a hand airily at them. ‘Sure. Go ahead. Check.’
James sniffed and picked up a tablet lying on a small table by the door. ‘What’s your name again?’
They knew who I was. ‘Daisy,’ I said. ‘Daisy Carter. You might have forgotten but I’m the one who saved your sorry arses when Humphrey Bridger turned rogue and tried to murder several people.’ I pointed beyond the front door. ‘It was in that room. You were there.’ I smiled helpfully.
He stopped the pretence of scanning through the guest list and sighed heavily. ‘Fine,’ he muttered. ‘You may enter.’
Lewis glowered. ‘For tonight.’
‘Thank you, lovelies!’
James frowned at the terrible imposition of my presence. ‘Just go in.’ His lip curled as he glanced at the large bag on my shoulder. ‘You can check that in at the cloakroom.’
I would do no such thing, though I didn’t tell them that. Instead, I simply curtsied. ‘Happy New Year.’
‘I hope your testicles shrivel up and die,’ Hester added, from her perch on my shoulder.
