Page 79 of Fiendish Delights
‘Alright,’ Hester shouted. ‘If you want a fight, you one-eyed bastard, you’ve got a fight! We can take you on. We’ll pummel you to the ground! We’ll make mincemeat out of your flesh! We’ll carve out your eyeball and eat it for dessert!’
‘Hester, enough of that,’ I said mildly.
The brownies turned to me and so did the creature in front of them. He blinked his single eye and tilted his head. ‘Hello again,’ I said to the Fachan.
I wouldn’t say he looked thrilled to see me but he didn’t appear particularly upset either. ‘Daisy Carter.’ He bowed. ‘You have returned to me as promised.’
‘You know this … person?’ Hugo asked, totally baffled.
I realised I’d never told him the story. ‘This is the Fachan – he’s the one who gave me Gladys. I met him when I fell in Smoo Cave. He challenged me to a fight, then let me go when he realised that I wasn’t a satisfying opponent.’
‘You were pathetic,’ the Fachan rumbled helpfully.
‘Don’t call Daisy pathetic!’ Otis yelled.
‘Yeah,’ Hester said. ‘We’re still going to beat you. I’ll take your liver and grind it into dust. Otis will spoon out your brains!’
‘I like these two,’ the Fachan said. ‘They are brave warriors.’
Uh-oh. ‘They’re not warriors,’ I said quickly before he challenged them to a real fight. ‘And neither is he.’ I nodded to Hugo, who was continuing to stare at the Fachan in genuine fascination.
‘I will fight you before I fight them,’ the Fachan declared gravely. ‘Are you ready?’
Not a chance. ‘Definitely not.’
His single bulbous eye narrowed. ‘You have brought Gladius Acutissimus Gloriae Et Sanguinis with you. You must be ready to face me.’
I shook my head vigorously. ‘No. I’m still a beginner.’
The Fachan sniffed. ‘Show me.’
‘Can’t you take my word for it? I’m not here for you. I had no idea you’d be here.’
He didn’t say anything else, only stared. I sighed and passed the dragon’s egg to Hugo.
He leaned towards me and whispered. ‘Are you sure about this?’
Nope. ‘It’s not a problem.’ I pulled Gladys out of her sheath and began a series of practice swipes, using the techniques Miriam had taught me.
The Fachan watched. ‘Pathetic,’ he said eventually.
Hester started to open her mouth but I jabbed Gladys towards her. ‘Enough from you,’ I muttered.
‘Even for a high elf your progress is dismal,’ the Fachan said.
I noticed Hugo jerk out of the corner of my eye. ‘I’m not a high elf.’
‘That’s what you said last time.’
‘It’s still true.’ I managed a smile. ‘We’ll get out of your way. You’re probably very busy.’ I started backing up; it would be wise to get away from the Fachan while we still could. Then, because taking my own advice was something I was stillworking on, I hesitated. ‘Why are you here?’ I asked. ‘We’re a long way from Smoo Cave.’
‘It is true. Home is far away.’ He bared his teeth. ‘But this hunt is worth the travel.’
This time Hester reacted before I could stop her. ‘You’re hunting dragons?’ Her screech echoed around the cavern. ‘I will rip your throat out!’ She lunged towards him, but fortunately Otis managed to grab the tail of her blouse and hold her back.
The Fachan regarded her mildly. ‘I do not hunt dragons.’ His lip curled. ‘I am not a monster.’
‘Whatareyou hunting then?’ Hugo asked.
