Page 20 of The Dark Hiss of Magic
He grimaced. ‘That came out wrong. It’s just that you have a lot of old secrets inside that head of yours. You did a lot of … stuff … for EEL, and they let you retire to Danksville with a party – and what? A golden handshake?’
‘Pretty much. It’s not like the movies or the books. Real assassins don’t end up in a pine box because their employer is afraid of what they know or what they might do. If EEL killed off their ex-employees, they’d never recruit any new ones. They trust me to keep my mouth closed and I trust them to leave me in peace.’
‘Fair enough,’ he grunted.
Inside the karaoke bar, I sang ‘Killing Me Softly’ while the audience winced. Thane found a tall witch who initially thought he recognised Cos, but we soon realised that he’d mistaken my drawing for a leprechaun he used to know.
‘His skin isn’t green,’ I said.
‘Barry the leprechaun’s skin is definitely green,’ the witch told us. ‘And that’s Barry.’
It wasnotBarry. We abandoned the karaoke bar.
‘Your turn,’ I said, once we were outside. I’d drunk enough alcohol that I was no longer feeling the cold. ‘When was the last timeyouhad a night out on Hirsel Street?’
‘Ten years ago.’ Thane squinted. ‘No. Eleven.’
‘That long?’
He grimaced. ‘I was out on a date with a dryad from Leet Forest. We walked into a pub full of Barrow wolves. It didn’t end well.’
Ah. Thane had been part of the Barrow pack before he’d been thrown out for killing his uncle, the Barrow beta. I didn’t know what had made him kill his uncle and I’d not tried to find out. If Thane wanted me to know, he would tell me.
‘I spent three weeks recovering in hospital,’ he said. ‘I never heard from the dryad again.’
‘I’m sorry.’
He shrugged awkwardly but there was a lot of pain behind the gesture. ‘It seemed wise to stay away from Hirsel Street after that. I’m pretty capable, but I can’t win against a dozen drunk and angry werewolves who are out for my blood.’
I bit my lip. ‘You don’t have to do this with me, Thane. You don’t have to be here.’
‘I know, but I don’t think they’d come at me again like they did last time. A lot has changed since those days. Besides,’ he gave me an arch grin to try and mask his true feelings, ‘this time I’m with you. You’ll keep me safe.’
‘I’ll stab anyone who comes after you,’ I said, and I meant it. Thane was a good guy. Whatever had happened with his uncle all those years ago, I knew he was someone I could trust. I also genuinely liked him and enjoyed his company – and he wasn't even a cat.
Speaking of which... ‘I’m sure Tiddles would also happily go after anyone who tried to jump you,’ I added.
‘That cat would win against any number of werewolves.’
I smiled serenely. ‘Any cat would.’
In the Mexican bar we paid for a round of tequila shots for every customer but none of them volunteered anything useful about Cos. In the speakeasy, hidden behind a fake grocer’s shop, we were stone walled by the three customers who were willing to pay over the odds for brightly coloured cocktails that tasted of sugary fruit juice. In the whisky bar, nobody could speak without slurring their words, let alone focus on Cos’s picture.
After more than four hours, we decided to give up. I was far drunker than I wanted to be and I didn’t want to pay for it with a hangover the following morning, so I steered a swaying Thane away from the alcoholic vibes of Hirsel Street towards a well-litcoffee shop called Pork Pies, which was closer to Crackendon Square.
Sadly, I couldn’t see any actual pork pies on the menu. I chose not to complain about false advertising and ordered us both very large, very strong black coffees with greasy bacon rolls on the side. One day a powerful witch would develop a potion that successfully prevented hangovers. It hadn't happened yet, but when it did their coven would be the richest in the world. Guaranteed.
I placed the magicked portrait face down on the table and chewed happily on the roll. It wasn’t a balanced healthy meal and would likely play havoc with my cholesterol levels, but damn, it tasted good.
‘There was a time in my youth,’ Thane mused, ‘when there were very few people who could drink me under the table, but those days are long gone now. And it appears the less liquor I can hold, the worse my hangovers are.’
I raised my coffee cup. ‘To a misspent youth that was hangover free.’
He grinned lopsidedly and reached for his cup. Unfortunately he misjudged and knocked the white cup flying across the table, sending dark splatters of coffee in all directions like blood gushing from an arterial wound. The paper with our only picture of Cos was immediately soaked.
‘Shit.’ I grabbed it, shook off the worst of the liquid and dabbed at it ineffectively with a napkin. It was too late. Alas, enchanted pictures and black coffee were not a good combination.
Thane looked aghast. ‘Oh no. You’ve got more copies, right?’
