Page 2 of Summoning Mr. Wrong
“Not hell, actually. Common misconception. And like I said, can’t leave until I fulfill my obligation.” He flopped back onto my couch and put his bare feet up on my coffee table. “So we’re roomies now. Got any food? The interdimensional commute is killer on the appetite.”
As if to punctuate his statement, my ancient refrigerator made a dying-whale noise from the kitchen.
I am so fucked.
And not in the good way. Though looking at the smug, impossibly attractive demon making himself at home on my couch, a traitorous part of my brain wondered if that might change.
Chapter 1
I woke up the next morning convinced I’d had some kind of psychotic break. Too much stress, too little sleep, too many episodes ofGood Omensbefore bed. That would explain the extremely detailed hallucination about summoning a demon.
Then I shuffled into my kitchen to find said demon sitting at my tiny table, eating the last of my Captain Crunch straight from the box.
“Morning, sunshine,” Deus said, his mouth full of cereal. “You snore. Did you know that? Like a congested chainsaw.”
I blinked, rubbed my eyes, and blinked again. He was still there. The horns were less prominent today—just small bumps on his forehead—but his eyes still had that unnatural amber glow, and the tattoos covering his arms were definitely… moving. Shifting patterns of ancient symbols that rearranged themselves as I watched.
“You’re still here,” I said dumbly, clutching the doorframe for support. I was wearing only boxers and an old t-shirt, and suddenly felt very exposed.
“Told you. Contract.” He tossed another handful of cereal into his mouth. “By the way, your food situation is dire. Don’t you eat anything that doesn’t come from a box?”
I ignored him and went straight for the coffee maker, the one functional appliance in my kitchen besides the microwave. “I need caffeine before I can deal with this.”
“Already made some.” Deus nodded toward a full pot. “You’re welcome.”
The coffee was perfect. Which was annoying.
“So,” I said after drinking half a cup, “what exactly is this ‘favor’ you have to do for me? Because if it’s taking my soul or something, I’m going to have to pass.”
Deus rolled his eyes dramatically. “Please. So cliché. We don’t want souls. What would we even do with them? Display them on a shelf?” He crunched another handful of cereal. “The favor is… complicated. I’ll know it when I see it.”
“That’s convenient,” I muttered. “And how long will that take?”
He shrugged those broad shoulders, making the tattoos ripple. “Could be days. Could be months. One guy in Prague, took me three years.”
I choked on my coffee. “Years?!”
“Relax. Based on your…” he gestured vaguely at all of me, “situation, I’m guessing it won’t take that long.”
Wow. Insulted by a demon before 8 AM. New personal low.
“I have to get ready for work,” I said, setting down my mug. “Will you still be here when I get back?”
“Obviously.” He stretched, his shirt riding up to reveal a toned stomach covered in more of those shifting tattoos. “Maybe I’ll redecorate. This place is depressing.”
“Don’t touch anything,” I warned, pointing a finger at him. “Just… sit there. Quietly.”
He gave me a smile that was all mischief and absolutely no reassurance. “Sure thing, boss.”
I didn’t believe him for a second, but I also couldn’t afford to miss a shift at the coffee shop. Rent wasn’t going to pay itself, demonic houseguest or not.
Chapter 2
The bathroom in my apartment was barely large enough to turn around in, with a shower stall, toilet, and sink crammed together like sardines. I turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up (which would take approximately until the heat death of the universe in this building), and tried to process my new reality.
I have a demon in my apartment. A very attractive demon. Who apparently has to do me a “favor.”
I caught my reflection in the cloudy mirror. Dark circles under my eyes, messy black hair, the perpetual look of someone who’s one minor inconvenience away from a breakdown. Compared to the supernatural Adonis in my kitchen, I looked like something the cat dragged in, then rejected.
