Page 78 of Montana Lawman Rescuer
Crashing came from her right, and she suddenly regretted this whole idea. She looked about for Jesse but didn’t see him. Had he forgotten? Or worse, had he been discovered by the bad men and tied up, thus leaving her alone? Her knees turned rubbery. She ordered them to stay strong so she could run. A glance over her shoulder showed she had wandered a distance from the path leading back to town, and she edged that way, never taking her gaze from the direction of the sound.
A boy of about ten broke into the open. “Hi,” he called. “Didn’t `spect to see anyone.” He turned and raced away.
Her knees folded, and she sank to the ground.
Jesse appeared at her side, and he sat down to hold her. “You’re not doing this again. My heart won’t stand the strain.”
“Nor mine.” It was several minutes before she had the strength to stand. When she thought she could walk, he took her hand and held it until he had her safely home.
It was two days before she was brave enough to venture out on her own again.
Jesse spent more time at home than she knew he normally did, but she didn’t mention it. After her scare at the river, she was only too glad to have him nearby.
And there were other reasons she didn’t mind his company. He played with Mikey. The boy adored him. Even that wasn’t the main reason she enjoyed his presence.
Her greatest source of pleasure was when Jesse took her for walks throughout the day, always staying close to home, always keeping her at his side, making her feel safe and protected and valued.
Was being valued something she sought? Needed? She searched her thoughts, willed remembrance, but nothing came. She didn’t know if she needed to feel important to someone or not. Of course, she didn’t, she thought with some disgust. Besides, Mikey thought she was important, running to her often for a hug or a word of praise. Gram appreciated her help with the sewing and meal preparation.
And Jesse? Was she more than a responsibility to him? She harbored a secret hope for it, but until she knew who or what she’d been before she ended up in Bella Creek—well, she simply didn’t feel like she was worthy of someone like Jesse.
Which, to her disgust, answered her question as to whether or not she needed to be valued.
Would she ever learn who she was?
Did it matter anymore? She wished she could say it didn’t, but something nagged at her from the shadows of her past, and until she knew what it was, she could never be free of it. Every day, she asked Jesse if a letter had arrived from Alliance. But no help came from that direction.
No amount of praying or poring over her Bible seeking clues provided a key to her past. Nothing she saw in her walks did, either.
Jesse had gone to check if any new letters had arrived. She understood that Clarence had taken on many of Jesse’s responsibilities so he could spend his time guarding her. It should make her feel guilty, but it didn’t. She could hardly breathe when he was gone as fear clutched at her lungs.
Between worrying about someone who might wish her harm and wanting to know who she was, Emily found it difficult to sit still and help Gram with the sewing.
Gram noticed her restlessness. “You won’t be able to settle until you see if Jesse has any news. Why don’t you go see if he has anything to report?”
Emily hesitated. “I feel like I should be doing more to help you.” Besides, Jesse had made it clear he didn’t want her leaving the house unescorted.
“Nonsense. Your life is like an unfinished seam at the moment. It makes it a little hard to put your mind to something as mundane as sewing on a button. Run along.”
Emily made up her mind. She would be safe enough going to Jesse’s office, and it was impossible to relax until she knew if he’d received any message concerning her.
And if going out on her own made one of those horrible men show his face, she considered it well worth it, so she folded away the shirtwaist she’d been working on.
“Thank you for being so understanding. I’ll take Mikey.” At least she could do that much. For several days, she’d left him in Gram’s care as she tried to draw out whoever left her shirtwaist on the doorstep. She wasn’t ready to think of it as anything but a threat. But it seemed less and less likely that’s what it meant. Perhaps it had been left for some other reason, though she could think of none.
Mikey gladly came with her. “See Yesse?” he asked.
“Yes, we’ll go to his office. You can play in the jail.” They’d visited before, and Mikey had been fascinated by the room with bars for walls.
They reached the little building with the Sheriff sign above the door. Before she reached the handle, Jesse pulled the door open. “Is something wrong? Has someone—” He glanced past her as if expecting to see one of those men pursuing her.
Somewhere deep in her heart, a pleasant feeling blossomed. It was nice to know he cared about her safety, though he’d done so from the beginning. She was growing to like it more every day. “We’re fine. Everything’s fine. I just wondered if you’d had any messages today.” Even if the mail hadn’t arrived, Jesse often got letters hand delivered to him.
He drew her inside, looked up and down the street, and closed the door. He caught her arms and pulled her close. “I don’t like you wandering about the streets by yourself.”
“I expect half a dozen people saw me and would come rushing to my rescue if need be.”
“Maybe so, but until I find whoever is responsible?—”
