Page 56 of Montana Lawman Rescuer
Emily opened the front door, and with a whoop, Mikey dashed outside. Usually, when they walked, he dawdled, examining every rock, bug. and blade of grass. This time, he ran as fast as his short legs would carry him.
“Don’t go too far,” she called, and he immediately switched directions and raced back to her.
She laughed and bent to hug him. “You are such a good boy.”
“’Kay.” And away he went again.
They reached the intersection, and she paused, wondering which way to go. She wasn’t as fearful as she’d first been, now that she’d met many of the town’s residents. At least every person wasn’t a stranger who filled her with fear.
“Hello.”
Emily turned toward the sound. “Annie, hi.”
“Going shopping?”
She had no money. And she wasn’t about to put something on Jesse’s bill. He’d already gone above and beyond the call of duty. “Just out for a walk.”
“Me, as well. Mind if I join you?”
“Not at all.” It was better than being alone with her endlessly circling thoughts.
With Evan trotting along, Annie fell in at Emily’s side. The two boys chased each other up and down the street.
“Let’s go over to the schoolyard and let them play.”
Annie’s suggestion sounded good, so the four of them crossed the street. Annie and Emily sat in the shade on one of the benches and let the little boys race about.
Annie spoke. “I want to ask how you’re doing, but you must get sick of it.”
“I get sick of not knowing who I am. Sometimes I feel like I can almost remember, and then a black fog clouds my mind.”
“I’m truly sorry. I wish there was something I could do...anyone could do.”
“Every day, I beseech God to fix my brain. So far, He’s chosen not to do so.”
“It’s hard to trust God in some circumstances.”
“True.” For a moment, Emily thought about trust. “More and more I am learning how dependent my trust is on things going well, but if we only trust when we can see the future, we aren’t really trusting.” She embedded the thought in her brain. This situation required she trust God completely—for her past and her future and for her memory to return. Though she thought more and more about what she’d do if she never got it back. Each time, she hit a roadblock. She couldn’t plan anything until she knew who she was. “Jesse’s out looking for the robbers. He said he wouldn’t come back until he found them.” She chuckled. “We might never see him again.” Without warning, her voice broke.
“Emily, what’s wrong?”
She swallowed hard. “What if he doesn’t come back?”
Annie laughed at the idea. “He’ll be back. This is his home, and Gram is here.”
Emily tried to find encouragement in the words. “It doesn’t make sense, but his presence makes me feel safe. His was the first face I saw when I came to out there. I immediately knew I was safe with him.” She gave a shrug and attempted a laugh. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”
Annie considered her a moment before she answered. “I can’t begin to know what you are going through, but I understand why you feel safe with Jesse around. He has a very strong code of conduct that guides his every action. He would never compromise his ideals. I think that comes across to anyone who meets him. So I’m not at all surprised that you feel that way.” She paused to let the words sink in. “I wouldn’t want to see Jesse hurt.”
“I’m not going to hurt him.” But the warning was timely. She’d leaned on him too much and looked to him for assurance and comfort. She’d be more cautious around him in the future. Not turn to him so much. But it was Annie’s words about Jesse’s high ideals that worried her. Just as she knew sewing meant more to her than one would expect, she knew she had reason to fear what her past would reveal.
Nevertheless, she wanted to know who she was. She would face whatever she learned and move forward.
A rider passed on the street, and Emily turned. It wasn’t Jesse. She told herself she hadn’t expected it to be. Tried to make herself believe her eagerness to see him stemmed only from the hope he would bring the murdering robbers to justice.
Mikey fell and banged his arm. He came running to Emily, and she pulled him onto her lap and rubbed his back. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and rested against her a moment, then he squirmed down and trotted back to Evan.
“Those two little guys are so much alike,” Annie observed.
