Page 65 of Unchaining the Heart of the Marquess
“No, there is no hope at all. In fact, she was quite angry with me for professing my love. I waited too long and have paid the price for my years of unwarranted hubris. I allowed society and my title to dictate my path instead of listening to my soul’s uttermost desire. It is a mistake I will pay dearly for throughout the remainder of my days.”
“I am sincerely sorrowed by your loss My Lord. I wish there were something I could do.”
“As do I, my friend. As do I.”
They sat in silence for a moment, mourning the idea of what could have been. Mr. Johnson and two footmen entered the library carrying trays of food for both Frederick and Buckworth, then departed as swiftly and quietly as they had entered. Since the Duchess’ disappearance, the entire household had been subdued to such an extent one would have thought that they had entered a house of mourning. In many ways they had.
“Tell me of your search,” Frederick requested, and then listened as the lieutenant laid out the tactics that had been employed by himself and his friend within the Bow Street Runners as they had searched the length and breadth of London for the Duchess. When he was done Frederick leaned back in his chair and sighed. “That is quite a tale, Lieutenant. You have been most thorough.”
“I apologize if our having looked into the local brothels caused Your Lordship offense, but we felt it best to cover all possible places of lodging for travelers no matter how uncomfortable.”
“Yes, thank you, Lieutenant. I must admit I am most grateful that you did not find her there. It eases the heart to know that the mother I once knew has not fallen to such depths, though I truly doubt that she ever would no matter how dire the situation she might find herself in.”
“Of course, My Lord.” He looked uncomfortable having to discuss such a delicate subject with the son of the woman he sought.
“My father will be greatly pleased to hear of your thoroughness as well.”
Buckworth nodded in relief. The two of them ate together in companionable silence for a time, then the lieutenant retired to his room to bathe and rest for the night. Restless, Frederick found himself once more outside, staring out across the pond. Since the day Josephine had nearly died, he had found himself drawn to it when he was feeling upset or uncertain.
If Buckworth cannot find her than who can?His mind asked the question already knowing the answer.No one.Sighing, he picked up a rock and threw it across the pond, causing it to skip, creating ripples in the serene darkness. His thoughts turned back to Josephine as he spotted a shimmering light floating across the water’s surface.
The moon shone as a great orb in the depths, disrupted by the ripples, causing the reflection to dance in seeming glorious abandon, then grow still once more as if it had remembered it was too filled with sorrow for such frivolities. Frederick looked up at the moon, feeling as if the weight of the world lay upon his shoulders. He studied its face, then looked back down at its reflection in the water below.
Still searching for your long-lost love, Mr. Moon?A cloud passed over the lunar sphere, blocking the reflection from the pool of water below as if to admit its pain.As am I, Mr. Moon. As am I. Aren’t we a pair, we two, forever cursed to live and die each day without the one we love above all else. Did you too allow your pride to destroy your love?The moon reappeared seeming brighter than it had but moments before as if to say that yes, indeed, it also had suffered such woes.
He knew he would have to move on at some point for the sake of his family’s legacy, but not this night. This night he would mourn all that had been lost. The responsibilities of life could be put off until the morrow or better yet to many morrows in the future. Sitting down on the bank, he lay back in the grass, ignoring the chill of the dew upon his skin, and closed his eyes.
He allowed himself to drift toward sleep, hoping to recapture the feeling of freedom and peace that he had felt camping upon the road. He did not care that he was exposed out in the open air, without protection. He only cared not to reenter the home that they had all once shared, the home that now bore only the pain of memory and the ghost of the family they had once been.
Tomorrow… I will give way to reality tomorrow, as the moon gives way to the sun. Tomorrow we will start anew.
Chapter 31
“Frederick? Frederick?” His mother’s voice called to him from the depths of his dreams. He reached out to grasp her hand to keep the image from fading away.
“Where are you, Mother? Come back to us. Father needs you,” he petitioned as his hand came away with naught but air.
“Frederick!” This time his mother’s voice sounded more urgent, more real.
He opened his eyes to find it was not a dream at all, but that his mother was truly there standing over him with a concerned look upon her face. “Mother?”
“What are you doing sleeping outside on the ground? Has something happened?”
“Yes, you went away and left Father to die, without you. How could you do it? How could you leave your husband to bear the consequences of your secrets alone? How could you leave him to die in your stead?”
“I can explain…” she began reaching out to touch his face, but Frederick refused the gesture of affection rolling away from her and rising to his feet.
“I certainly hope so,” he replied, all sympathy for her secret plight gone after she had abandoned them for a second time. “Have you seen Father?” he asked, taking in the disheveled state of her.
“No, I have not as of yet.”
“Perhaps it would be best if I warn him of your arrival first. I am not certain that his heart could take the shock if you simply waltzed into the manor house as if nothing had ever happened.” Frederick turned away from her and walked toward the front door. When he entered, he went straight into the library, hoping to get to his father before he saw the Duchess through the window.
He found him sitting at his desk staring absently at the flames in the library grate. “Father?”
“Hmm,” he made a noise of acknowledgement, but it took a few moments before he actually turned to acknowledge his son’s presence. As if waking from a trance, the Duke turned and met his son’s eyes. “Frederick, how are you, my son? I missed you at breakfast.”
“Father, you need to prepare yourself for what I have to say.” Frederick moved around to kneel down in front of the Duke’s chair, taking one of his hands in his own.
