Page 59 of A Duke Under Her Spell
Believing her to be speaking of Lady Cordelia, Felix sighed and patted her hand in comfort. “I am sorry, Mother. I know how much you care for her, but I truly believe it to be for the best.”
“How could you say such a thing?!” the Dowager Duchess demanded of him.
“She is not the person we all believed her to be. I do not wish to disparage anyone’s character, but you must take my word on the matter. Lady Cordelia Weatherton is not suited to be the next Duchess of Arkley.”
“I am not speaking of Lady Cordelia! I am speaking of Marybeth!” His mother thrust the piece of paper into his hand. “She has left us!”
“What?” he asked in confusion.
“Read it for yourself,” she commanded. “I am sorry that I read your letter, but the maid brought it up to me by mistake.”
Felix opened the letter and scanned the page. As he read the words his heart felt as if it stopped. Everything in his world came to a terrible screeching halt and his knees gave way. He sat down hard on the edge of the bed and the paper floated from his fingers to the floor. “She is gone,” he whispered, devastated by the loss of his heart’s one and only desire. “She is gone.”
Chapter 26
“Lass… Lass…” The farmer shook Marybeth awake. “You’re home, lass.” She had traveled with the farmer for two days and had slept a good portion of both. The weight of her sorrow too heavy for her to bear, she had surrendered to unconsciousness as an escape. The farmer had not minded and had allowed her to do as she wished. “Arkley Forest,” he announced with a grand gesture of the arm, proud of himself for delivering her safely.
Marybeth smiled at the kind man and pulled a bundle of herbs from her medicine bag. “Grind this into your tea each night and it will ease the pain in your joints so that you sleep better.” On their journey she had learned that the farmer suffered terribly and had not slept well in years.
“I thank you, lass. A kind gesture to be sure.”
“Not nearly as kind as you seeing me home. I cannot thank you enough, Mr. FitzGibbons.”
“Please call me Ralph. You remind me too much of my daughter to stand on such formalities.”
“Very well, Ralph. I thank you.” Marybeth climbed down off of the wagon, gave the dog one last pat on the head, then began walking through the forest in the direction of her croft. The dog barked from behind her in farewell and she wished she could have brought him along for company. The solitary existence that had once been her greatest joy, now lay before her like a gaping hole in the ground ready to suck her in and swallow her whole.
She looked down at her brother’s ring upon her finger and wondered how Stephen was healing. She hoped that with her return to the croft that Lord Enfield would leave her alone. She feared what she might do to him were he to seek her out again. She was not quite sure why she wore the ring. It was difficult for her to sort through the myriad of emotions that she felt about having brothers, a family, and yet every part of it was clouded by the method of her conception.
My brothers may be all I have left in this world other than Oliver. Oliver!The thought of her childhood friend gave her pause as she realized that she would never be able to return to Arkley Hall to ensure that his wound healed properly.I hope someone has the forethought of mind to tell him that I have returned home.She knew that it was unlikely that the Duke would have a single kind word to say to her after the letter that she had written to him, but perhaps he would at least tell Oliver.
Marybeth continued walking and thinking of all that she had lost and gained over the last weeks. The forest had always brought her comfort, but now as she walked into its depths, she felt nothing but the silence and loneliness that surrounded her. She thought of her mother taking her own life and wondered if after her attack it had felt as if the forest had turned on her. The place that had once been her mother’s cathedral, her safe place, had been turned into a terrible nightmare.
As Marybeth looked around her now it was hard for her not to see the trees through her mother’s eyes.How she must have hated the very earth she walked upon for not swallowing her up and keeping her safe.Shivering, Marybeth attempted to think more positive thoughts. If she was to continue to live in the forest, she could not allow herself to become its prisoner. She needed to return to being its friend.
Marybeth trekked through the forest for some time until she finally reached her croft. As she walked through the door, she took in the home that she had known her entire life, now covered in a thin layer of dust, and broke down into tears. Everyone she had ever loved was gone, either dead, or simply beyond her reach.
Unable to bear the thought of cleaning the house at that exact moment, she traipsed through the main room to her bedroom, shook the blankets out to ensure there were no animals in them, and then crawled into bed where she cried herself to sleep.
* * *
Felix spent the ride home in stony silence, while his mother slept lying down upon the seat across from him. The carriage bumped along through the English countryside with little regard to his shattered heart. The letter Marybeth had written him was jammed into his vest pocket. It felt as it were burning a hole through the fabric straight to his heart. She had left him, swearing that she did not love him and that she could not spend another moment of immeasurable suffering in his world.
Felix had grown up with parents that truly loved each other and would have done anything for each other. He had seen firsthand what true love looked like and he thought he had found it for himself, but he could not have been more wrong. Not only had she abandoned him, but she had not cared enough to stay and see the Dowager Duchess’s treatments through. She had acted as if she did not care whether his mother lived or died and that was what had broken his heart the most.
I have never been more wrong about a person in my entire life. How could my sense of judgement have failed me so completely? I was ready to pledge my life to Marybeth and yet she did not care enough to save my mother’s. I do not understand. I do not understand any of this.
Clenching his hands into fists, he stared out of the window, but saw nothing, lost in his own misery. A gentle rain began to fall as darker clouds loomed in the distance. Time passed and the wind picked up as the sky grew dark overhead. The rain began to pour down in revenging torrents. The horses grew skittish and the driver beat in the roof of the carriage. “We will have to stop at the nearest inn, Your Grace. The horses cannot continue on in this.”
“Very well,” Felix answered loud enough for the driver to hear. Murmuring to himself he added, “I am in no hurry to return home to further misery.” Felix knew he would have to speak with Oliver upon his return and he was not looking forward to it. He hoped that the young man had gained enough strength to take the news of his friend’s betrayal.
It is a hard thing to learn that someone you loved and trusted is not who you thought they were.
He was not normally one to sulk or to shy away from his responsibilities, but he was hurt and angry in such a way that he had never been before, and it had taken its toll on his mental state. He hoped that a good night’s sleep would help him to return to some semblance of his normal self. When the coach reached the inn, Felix dismounted and then lifted his mother out of the carriage. She moaned in discomfort and Felix frowned in concern. He placed his cheek on her forehead.Fever.
Carrying her to her room, he laid her down upon the bed. Mrs. Snow brought in the bag of medicinals that Marybeth had left for her and Felix began mixing the herbs just as he had seen her do so many times before. The strong odor from the garlic made his eyes water and he reached up to brush a tear away only to find his cheeks soaked with tears, and not from the garlic.
She should be here doing this. She is the only one who can save Mother. I do not believe her capable of walking away and abandoning us. This is not her.
