Page 26 of An Unbending Lady for the Desperate Earl
“Were you injured in the war? I do not believe I have ever asked you.” She felt inclined to learn more of his past, now that he had brought it into their sphere of conversation. Honestly, she knew she was guilty of being dismissive toward him in their previous talks, which she hoped to remedy.
“Nothing that time has not healed,” he replied, though a flicker of pain crossed his handsome features. “My home in Cornwall helped a great deal with my recovery. As my father always used to say, there is nothing that sea air cannot repair.”
Victoria frowned. “What about boats? I thought the salt in the sea air played merry havoc with boats, warping the wood and suchlike.”
Christian burst out laughing. “You are a very literal creature, aren’t you? I doubt you ever have cause to wax poetic.”
“Sorry,” she blushed intensely. “It is a force of habit.Myfather never saw any use in poeticism. He used to scold me for wasting time on romantic ideals, whenever I would mention the beauty of a winter morning and the first spray of frost upon the river path, or the way the fog rolled across the Thames before dawn.”
Christian’s laughter died. “Then you’re not the one who should be sorry.Iam sorry that you have had no leeway in your life to see the beauty in this world or heed the romantic. You must have been existing in shadow for so very long, knowing only the harsh undercurrents that threaten to pull us all under. Especially considering your employment, and the things that you see each day. Things no one should have to see, woman or man.”
“I love my work,” she murmured defensively.
“I know you do. It is one of the things I admire most about you. But one cannot exist solely for the purpose of their work, can they? Surely, that is too much for one person to bear, without any outlets for joy or poeticism or seeing the good in things?”
Victoria faltered. “It… it is all I have known.”
“Then, perhaps wehavecome into each other’s lives to help one another,” he said softly, making her heart pound. “Let us call this the first step toward you seeing the good in this world, as well as the bad. You have danced, when you thought you could not. And, if I am not mistaken, you took some joy from that dance?”
She nodded slowly. “I did.”
“Then, even though we are working toward capturing two men of great evil, I will endeavor to bring more joy into your life or at least teach you where you may find it. That way, you can alleviate the weight of your employment, in order to stop it from destroying you in the years to come.”
Victoria’s heart lurched. “You think it may destroy me? Why would you think such a thing? I am no weakling. I am not feebleminded. I can endure as much as any of my male counterparts.”
“I do not doubt that. Truly, you may be the strongest, most fearless person I have ever met, and yet I fear that it may take its toll on you because you are not without a heart. You feel the raw pain of the people you aid. I have heard it in your stories. You are their support and their strength, when they have none left. You are their hope and their light, as you are mine… in this task.” He looked away, his voice thick with emotion. “How could thatnotend up crushing you? When you take on the weight of everyone else’s suffering, how could it do anything but wear you down until there is nothing left of the person you were?”
Victoria wasn’t sure how to respond. She had always presumed she would continue in this line of work until the day she died, going about her business in the way she had done ever since she took over from her father, after his death. She had never paused to think of the consequences of dealing with so much darkness and misery.
Is he right?Oftentimes, after particularly grim cases which had not offered any positive outcome, she returned to her lodgings above the office and sobbed herself to sleep. Even in slumber, she was haunted by the faces of the dead; the men, women, and children that she had not been able to save. But she had always dragged herself out of bed in the morning and carried on regardless, knowing there were others out there that she might be able to save in time.
What happened when that became harder to achieve, that determination to get out of her bed and go on with her day? Being young still, she had never really had to think on it. But now that Christian had brought it to her attention, she wondered if it truly might break her, one of these days.
“I do not know that I possess the ability to look at the world in a rosier light, knowing what goes on,” she replied. “But I will try, if you are willing to teach me. After all, I have never backed away from a challenge.”
He smiled proudly. “I hoped you might say that.”
“Enough of this idle chatter.” She tilted her neck from side to side to unfurl the kinks. “Let us stand close to Sir John and Lord Mobberley and see if we might hear anything of their discussion.”
“Very good.”
Together, they made a show of talking about the dance they had just partaken in and came to stand near to the strange duo—one tall and thin, the other broad and imposing. An almost exact replica of Miss Jennings’ description of the two men who had accosted her and her ward.
Victoria turned her back to them and pretended to laugh at something Christian had said, while her ears were pricked for whatever Sir John and Lord Mobberley had to say. They didn’t seem to notice the arrival of two eavesdroppers, which served Victoria well.
“What do you make of my prospects?” Sir John muttered. Victoria knew it was him, from the raspier pitch of his voice. Lord Mobberley’s voice was deeper, matching his physique and resonating from the pit of that barrel chest.
“I think you have as fine a chance as any of the other gentlemen present this evening,” Lord Mobberley answered. “You are an advisor to the crown, which may serve to put you ahead of an Earl or a Duke, or any of their sons. If Lord Whitfield could be assured that marrying his daughter to you would secure his business with the royal household itself, then I should say you will have no trouble in gaining an agreement to any proposal.”
Sir John sucked air through his teeth. A sound that sent a shiver up Victoria’s spine. “She is a rare bird, is she not?”
“A beauty, and no mistake. Sweet natured, too, which is far more difficult to come by. And she adores her mother and father, which works to your benefit. She will obey anything they ask, even if it is marrying a wiry old vulture like yourself.”
Sir John cackled. “Says you, you old boar.”
Victoria frowned as their conversation gave way to raucous laughter; the crude, masculine sort that made her stomach churn and her hairs stand on end. The nature of their discussion did not make sense to her. If they planned to kidnap Miss Longacre, then why were they discussing Sir John’s marital prospects? Surely, it would have been easier for them to steal Miss Longacre away and force her into a union? Yet, that did not seem to be their intent.
“Is all well?” Christian murmured.
