Page 67 of A Duchess Mistaken
“How did he take it?”
Johnathan grimaced. Agnes mimicked the expression.
“That badly?” she prodded.
Johnathan nodded. “He has threatened me, in fact. He grew so upset that I even dared to suggest breaking our arrangement that he said he would reveal to thetonthe truth of my father’s death. What little honor I have left will vanish.”
The frustration was sudden, surging through his body with such force that he did not trust himself to stand next to Agnes. He didn’t think he would hurt her but he certainly didn’t want to frighten her when the feeling grew out of control.
So he stalked away, raking his fingers through his hair like he had been doing ever since he left his office. Agnes was right. He wanted to punch something, but doubted the hedge walls surrounding them would give him any satisfaction.
“So he knows then,” Agnes said, sounding as if she was choosing her words carefully. “About your father’s death?”
“Sadly, he does.”
“But…how?”
Johnathan wanted to avoid her eyes. He knew the truth was coming and was afraid of the anger or betrayal—or worse, both—he would see in Agnes’ eyes. But he respected her too much to act like a coward, no matter how much he wanted to.
“My father had a dark secret that was only revealed to us upon his death,” Johnathan began. “He had an issue with gambling. Apparently, he accrued such massive debts that he stood no hope of paying them off in his lifetime. I do not know if it was his cowardice, or his fear of being found out, or his shame that led to his decision to take his own life. I have long since given up on trying to understand what his motivations were because the only legacy I was left with were debts that did nothing but deplete our funds.”
He couldn't look at her anymore. She didn’t take her eyes off him for a second and being under her scrutiny made him feel as if he was being flayed alive. He looked away, staring at the hedge wall to his left as his mind sunk further into the past.
“We are penniless, barely able to keep the roof over our heads. Mother disappeared into herself and Christopher coped by drinking himself into a stupor night after night. My only option was to work tirelessly to provide for my family and do whatever I could to restore the legacy of our dukedom. All the while keeping the truth away from theton.”
“So how did Lord Reeds find out?” Agnes asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“That I do not know,” Johnathan confessed and was unable to quell the deep-seated shame he felt at that fact. “He was the one who approached me, dangling Miss Caroline’s hefty dowry before me as bait to accept an engagement between the two of us. I agreed with very little hesitation, not knowing that he was aware of the extent of my situation. After that, I thought to take advantage of my brother’s unmarried state and secure a second dowry. One may be enough to release us from the debts but the other could help restore us to our former glory.”
Agnes was standing incredibly still, her expression impassive. Johnathan felt something twist inside him at the sight. Fear, he realized. Fear that she would hate him for what he was about to say next but knowing it was too late to stop it.
“My marriage to Miss Caroline and Christopher’s marriage to you was only meant to be a means to an end. It bothered me that I was taking advantage of you and Miss Caroline but I thought myself out of options. Forgive me, Agnes. I regret ever having used deceit in the first place.”
Johnathan expected her to get upset, to scold him and stalk away in anger. But she only shook her head.
“I cannot blame you for a decision made out of desperation,” she said softly. “People marry for varying reasons all the time. Saving their family from destitution is amongst the most honorable of them all.”
Johnathan could not believe what he was hearing. “You do not resent me for what I’ve done?”
“What you almost did,” she corrected with a soft smile. “And no, I do not. Honestly, I am a little offended that you thought I would. I was well aware that I had not secured a love match and I am certain Caroline did as well. There was no harm done.”
Johnathan had to take another step back because all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. God, the urge was getting out of hand at this point.
“Lord Reeds will stop at nothing to ensure that Miss Caroline and I are married,” Johnathan went on. “All the work I have done over the years to rebuild my people’s confidence in the dukedom will be destroyed if word was to get out. And he knowsthat I need Miss Caroline’s dowry. He knows that it is my only key to saving my family.”
“Then marry me.”
Johnathan reeled in shock, eyes growing wide. “What?”
Agnes boldly met his eyes even though her cheeks turned a bright pink. “The only thing you require is a dowry, is it not? You have no attachment to Caroline. If we were to get married, Lord Reeds will have nothing to hold over you.”
“His threat still holds,” he murmured rather dumbly.
“It will not have much credit if you have the wealth to show for it,” she assured. “And my father is well-connected. He will be able to counter any rumors Lord Reeds might attempt to make.” This time, it seemed like she was having a hard time meeting his eyes. “Though I suppose it is a big decision agreeing to marry someone. If you do not wish to do it, then I understand. We could think of a better solution.”
Agnes began turning away. Johnathan moved without thinking. In two large steps, he was upon her, grabbing her by the wrist. She gasped as she whirled back to face him, her head tilted slightly as she met his gaze with wide eyes.
“John…”
