Page 77 of A Duchess Mistaken
Irene drew in a deep breath. When she raised her eyes to meet his, they were filled with tortured pain, already swimming with tears. Johnathan felt his heart break in his chest.
“All I can think to say is that I am sorry, Johnathan.”
“Mother…”
“There is much to apologize for,” she went on, her voice soft and wavering. “For my withdrawal from the family after your father’s death. For the weight I put on you when you assumed the dukedom. For worrying you. For failing to console you and be there for you when you truly needed it. My sins are a mile long.”
“Mother, you don’t have to do this.”
“But I do. I will not be able to move on until I right my wrongs. And a wise young lady gave me the confidence to approach you, even though I am afraid that you will turn me away. God knows that I would deserve it.”
Johnathan had a feeling he knew who that wise young lady was.
“Mother, you were only trying to cope in the only way you know how. You need not ask me for my forgiveness because it has always been yours.”
The tears finally overflowed. Before Johnathan knew what was happening, his mother had launched himself at him, throwing her arms around his neck.
Johnathan could not remember the last time they’d embraced. As soon as her arms wrapped around him, he lost control of his own emotions. Tears pricked his eyes, his throat swelling, as he hugged her back.
He couldn’t say anything and it seemed neither could she. As they held each other and cried, words no longer seemed important.
CHAPTER 27
“Agnes?”
Agnes turned at the sound of Caroline’s hesitant voice. Her friend was standing behind her, getting dressed with the help of the maids while Agnes was still getting her hair coiled.
“Yes?”
The worry written across Caroline’s face could not be faked. She never seemed capable of getting rid of it as the night of the engagement ball grew nearer. Agnes could only imagine the anxiety Caroline must be feeling at the thought of her impending marriage to the Duke of Claymore. Anyone in her position must feel as if the noose tightening around her neck would finally cut off her breath.
“What do you think will happen this evening?” Caroline asked vaguely but Agnes knew what she meant.
She turned back to face her mirror, allowing the maid to continue coiling and tucking tufts of her hair away. She wasn’t going to come out and tell Caroline that she planned on announcing her betrothal to the duke. Under pressure, Caroline was not one to keep a secret. Besides, the last thing Agnes wanted to do was give Caroline any false hope if things were to go south, which she hoped wouldn’t happen.
“I’m sure we’re going to have a splendid time,” Agnes answered at last. “And everyone is going to leave happy.”
“Do you truly believe that?” Caroline asked doubtfully.
Agnes considered her own words and then shook her head slightly. “Well, perhaps not everyone. Not all can be pleased in the same manner, you know.”
Caroline sighed as if the entire world was resting on her shoulders. Right now, Agnes could imagine that it felt like it did.
“Do you think His Grace will be terribly upset if I do not attend?” Caroline asked after a while. Agnes met her eyes in the mirror and she caught the flash of regret that passed over Caroline’s face. “Oh, what am I saying? I couldn’t possibly not attend when this is meant to be in our honor. It would be dreadfully rude, would it not be?”
The anxiousness in her voice was palpable. Agnes didn’t miss the way the maids glanced at each other.
She gently touched the hand of the maid styling her hair and said, “Give us a moment, please.”
The maid nodded and she left the room, the other following closely behind her. As soon as they were alone, Agnes turned to face Caroline, her heart splintering when she saw that her friend was already on the verge of tears.
“I’m afraid,” Caroline confessed softly. “I’m afraid of how my uncle will react.”
Agnes quickly made her way to her side, embracing her. “Everything will be fine,” she assured, forcing far more confidence in her voice than she felt. “I won’t allow anything to happen to you.”
“What of you and the duke, Agnes? I know now that your heart has gone towards him? What if my uncle insists that I still marry him?”
Agnes simply stroked her back, letting her cry on her shoulder. Agnes truly didn’t know how well this evening was going to play out and, between preparing for the ball and everything else in between, she hadn’t been able to talk to Johnathan about it. Worse, she hadn’t gotten the chance to tell him that she had been wrong about who Caroline loved. Agnes didn’t want to risk being found alone with him again—though the dowager duchess had not said anything about what she’d walked in on—and that line of conversation was hardly one they could have amongst the others.
