Page 46 of A Duchess Mistaken
“Ah, so you were out of options.”
“Not so much out of options as I was reminded that I do not have all the time in the world. Any longer and I would have become a spinster.”
“Why am I already under the impression that you would not have minded that fate very much?”
“On the contrary, John, I do wish to be married and have a family of my own. I simply want to be smart about it.”
“So tell me, would you have gone ahead and married my brother had Miss Caroline not harbored feelings for him?”
She studied Christopher for a moment. Long enough to make Johnathan regret asking the question in the first place.
“That I cannot say,” she said at last.
It was the best response he could have hoped to hear. Johnathan chided himself for having voiced the question in the first place. It shouldn’t bother him if she’d said yes. After all, only a short while ago, that was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? For both him and his brother to secure fortuitous matches that would allow them to finally poke their heads above the water their father had left behind for them to drown in. Jonathan would have felt nothing but dismay if Agnes had opted out of the marriage.
But now, he felt something akin to delight. Something he should not allow himself to feel. Something that made his heartconstrict and his breathing grow shallow at the thought of Agnes walking down the aisle to meet Christopher.
“You’ve disappeared again,” she said softly, pulling him from the dark corner he was quickly sequestering himself within.
Jonathan blinked, forcing a smile onto his face. “Pardon me. I was only imagining the look on those poor gentlemen’s faces when they learned that you would not share in their affections.”
Agnes laughed again, the sound easily clearing the dark cloud that had settled over Johnathan’s mind. “I assure you, it did not affect them as much as you might think.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Oh?” She shifted slightly, giving him her full attention. “Why do you say that?”
“You are not an easily forgettable lady,” he confessed.
Agnes tilted her head, blinking in bemusement. “At the risk of sounding incredibly inane, I’m afraid I do not understand. What is it about me that is so unforgettable?”
Jonathan’s heart fluttered. The others still weren’t paying them much mind which meant he was free to speak as he wished. Free to tell her exactly what was on his mind.
“I may sound like a man stating the obvious, Agnes, but you are a vision. Standing in your presence alone, next to such an ethereal beauty, would be enough to make any gentleman feel as if they are on top of the world. Not to mention your sharp wit and endearing humor, I would be hard pressed to leave your side if I were courting you. And, if you were to reject me, I cannot imagine how I could ever recover.”
A beat of silence followed his words. Jonathan avoided looking at Agnes, feigning a nonchalance that he did not feel. He already regretted saying so much. He shouldn’t have revealed what was hidden in his heart, things he’d hardly had time to process for himself.
“But,” he began again, already sweating under her lack of response. “I am not courting you and would never find myself in such a position. I only speak as if I would.”
The silence persisted. Uncomfortable with all that he’d said, he glanced anxiously at her. She was staring at him as if she could not quite figure out what to make of what he’d said.
He couldn’t blame her. Johnathan could not remember the last time he’d spoken his mind so freely. Choosing his words and minding his manners had been his default ever since he became the duke.
“I hadn’t noticed it had gotten so late,” he said suddenly. “It has been quite an interesting day, to be sure. But I am quite exhausted. I believe it is time for me to retire to bed. Goodnight, Agnes.”
Johnathan stepped away from her, not sparing her another look. If he did, he knew whatever look she was giving him would only make him want to bury himself further. God, if there was ever a time not to put his foot in his mouth, it was now.
He quickly bid everyone else goodnight, ignoring the odd look his brother was giving him as he made his hasty farewell. Johnathan didn’t allow himself to breathe until he was well on his way to his chambers. And only when he was securely on the other end did he think back on all that he’d revealed to her.
He was developing feelings for her. There was no denying it now. Not to himself and, he feared, not to Agnes either. He’d all but given her a love confession!
Johnathan raked his fingers through his hair in frustration, embarrassed that he’d let himself say so much. How could did he ever intend to face her tomorrow?
CHAPTER 18
Agnes awoke the next day at six in the morning. Or rather, she opened her eyes and realized that dawn had approached and she’d barely slept at all during the night.
She got dressed in silence, left her chambers half an hour later, and made her way to the duke’s study.
